Precious Thoughts

I often supplement my current Bible Study or devotional readings with the adoration list from Every Bitter Thing Is Sweet.  January and February the topics were all things I was wrestling through already.  I came to the 22nd when we were looking at the characteristic of God as a personal God, who knows me individually.  God really used Psalm 139 to tie a lot of things together for me.

Psalm 139:17-18 – How precious also are Thy thoughts unto me, O God!  how great is the sum of them!  If I should count them, they are more in number than the sand: when I awake, I am still with thee.

For some time now, I have started my {almost} daily prayer time with Jeremiah 29:11-14, which says,

For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end. 12 Then shall ye call upon me, and ye shall go and pray unto me, and I will hearken unto you. 13 And ye shall seek me, and find [me], when ye shall search for me with all your heart. 14 And I will be found of you, saith the LORD: and I will turn away your captivity, and I will gather you from all the nations, and from all the places whither I have driven you, saith the LORD; and I will bring you again into the place whence I caused you to be carried away captive.

I know that these verses were spoken to Israelites which were headed into captivity, and yet the Lord has used them in my life over and over again.  I have struggled with this “captivity” of temporary housing and “limbo” and transition that we have been “stuck” in for 18 months.  I have questioned why God would call us to church planting, provide for our financial needs by allowed us to reach full support after only 2.5 years of deputation, and then just drop us off to sit and wait for three months, because we can’t really get started on church planting until we have a house.  So I have asked God to help me know that His plans are good.  That His plans are not of evil.  That He does have a plan, and that He is at work, even when I can’t see it.

I don’t particularly care for sand, but I came across this picture from our very last deputation trip and I was remind that God’s thoughts are more than the sand pictured here, which is a small portion of all the sand there is in the world!

We have done everything we can to secure housing.  And now we just wait for the bank’s decision.  It is all in God’s hands, and my patience has run thin many times.  But today I read that His thoughts (good thoughts and plans according to Jer. 29), are more than the sand, and they are precious.  

As I meditated on this truth, the Lord caused me to think about my moments and days as a mom to five little kids.  It seems that my day is filled with thoughts of other people (though this in no way means I am an unselfish person…).  It revolves around what DVD the 2nd grader needs me to start for school, and did I remind the 3 years olds to go potty, and did I bake bread so that I can feed these hungry kids, and the five year old needs clean socks so I have to start the laundry, and the baby needs his nose wiped, again.  My thoughts revolve around my family and how I need to meet their needs.  Yet I am sure that if I add these thoughts up, they are no where close to the number of grains of sand on the seashore.  God’s thoughts – of me – cannot be numbered.  They are precious, and they are thinking up good plans.

I have sometimes prayed Jer. 29:11, not out of faith, but out of duty because it is on my prayer list and I know I should pray it.  But God has answered my prayer.  In bringing me to Psalm 139, He has reinforced that He is working and thinking and planning on my behalf, even when I cannot see it.  I cannot even count His precious thoughts toward me, so I could I ever see and comprehend all that He is doing right now?

I am thankful for the waiting time, because it has allowed me to learn and personalize this truth in a way I wouldn’t have without the struggle and the trial.

Update:  The Lord brought this to me on a Wednesday morning when I was sick and not feeling well.  I did not want to make the two hour trek into NYC for church, especially because I felt the Lord wanted me to share this in testimony time.  We did go, and I did share, in obedience to Him.  I think He used it in the lives of others too.  The next morning, we received word that our short sale had been approved and we were moving forward into closing…

Despising the Manna

Pastor Bickel preached from Deuteronomy 8 on Sunday.  He was talking about the way in which God leads us, and the provision with which He feeds us.  Verses2-3 say,

Deuteronomy 8:2-3  And thou shalt remember all the way which the LORD thy God led thee these forty years in the wilderness, to humble thee, and to prove thee, to know what was in thine heart, whether thou wouldest keep his commandments, or no.  3 And he humbled thee, and suffered thee to hunger, and fed thee with manna, which thou knewest not, neither did thy fathers know; that he might make thee know that man doth not live by bread only, but by every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of the LORD doth man live.

I have been thinking about the Children of Israel and their Manna.  Their “what is it” was God’s heavenly provision for their need at that time.  It lasted until He gave them a new provision – the Promised Land…victorious Christian living.

What did they do with the Manna?  They were thankful for a while.  Then they complained and wanted meat.  God gave them their desire but sent leanness to their soul (Ps. 106:15).  The meat was okay…for a while.  Then they remembered the leeks and the onions and the fish in Egypt.  God’s provision wasn’t good enough anymore.

I think I have been guilty of the same attitude.  God has provided for us every step of the way since we moved to NYC in June 2010.  We never had enough money to pay all of the bills, but they all got paid, and on time.  God always sent His Manna from unexpected sources, and right when we needed it.  It was there when the sun came up.

But I think I’ve been complaining.  I’ve been viewing God’s Manna as not enough…anymore.  I have said to Ben several times that I am not asking for an extravagant lifestyle.  I just want to be able to pay the bills and afford food (and maybe even dining out once in a while).  It never occurred to me that maybe God didn’t want to provide a lifestyle where we could always afford the bills.  The food.  The entertainment when we wanted.  Maybe He wanted us to run short every month.  It taught us to depend on Him.

Recently we have mentioned our salary in Virginia Beach upon several occasions.  I think we have been remembering the leeks and onions, and it has caused us to despise the Manna – God’s provision for right now.

I read Jeremiah 7-8 this morning.  God is pronouncing judgment on His wayward people.  They were a people that took what God had given and used it to serve other gods.  Then they came to stand before God and expected Him to bless what they were wickedly doing in His Holy House.  God was disgusted with their sin. With their hypocrisy (7:9-11).  With their inability to blush as their rank sin (8:12).  He was so outraged that He didn’t even want anyone to pray for His people, because He would turn a deaf ear to those prayers (7:16).  They had provoked Him to anger and brought this harm upon themselves (7:19).  All He wanted was obedience (7:23).

I don’t want to be like Israel.  I want to be thankful for the Manna today.  I want to bask in the awesomeness of God’s provision for me.  Not always in abundance, but always when I need it.  I have questioned before Psalm 36:7-9 saying “Where is my fatness and abundance?  Why doesn’t God give that to me?”  But He has given it.  Every time He pours out a blessing from His heavenly store it is good, and fat, and in abundance, because it came from Him.  He knows my needs and He sees beyond my limited vision to know what is best for me.

Despise not the Manna of today.

“For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.”
Jeremiah 29:11

Jeremiah 6–No Blush

In this chapter the Lord continues to use Jeremiah to pronounce judgment on Israel by the coming destruction of Jerusalem.  The Lord gave His people so many chances to repent, to confess, to turn from their sin.  If they would have returned to Him, He would have foregone the judgment.  But they would not hearken.

How many times in my own life has He pointed out a particular sin or an area that I need to surrender?  And yet I continue to choose my own way.  I do not hearken, I will not forsake my sin.  Surely judgment is coming.

Jeremiah 6:10  To whom shall I speak, and give warning, that they may hear? behold, their ear is uncircumcised, and they cannot hearken: behold, the word of the LORD is unto them a reproach; they have no delight in it.

Vs. 11 – The Lord is weary of waiting and holding in His judgment.  Am I causing Him to be weary, or to rejoice?  I sometimes feel so weary of dealing with Elaine.  She will disobey on the same issue over, and over, and over again.  I just get so tired of instructing, of repeating myself, of administering discipline.  Is this the way I am causing the Lord to feel?

Jeremiah 6:14  They have healed also the hurt of the daughter of my people slightly, saying, Peace, peace; when there is no peace.

The people had a false sense of security, and believed that in spite of their rebellion there was peace.  There is no peace apart from the Lord and living in a right relationship with Him – Is. 26:3-4

Jeremiah 6:15  Were they ashamed when they had committed abomination? nay, they were not at all ashamed, neither could they blush: therefore they shall fall among them that fall: at the time that I visit them they shall be cast down, saith the LORD.

The people couldn’t even blush over their sin any more – they saw nothing shameful in their lifestyle.  It had become that much of a habit.  What about me?  I hardly blink an eye at the first curse word in a movie.  If there is cursing every other word, then we turn it off and I feel ashamed.  Should not I respond the same way to the first wrong word?  Whether small or great, it is all sin to God.

Jeremiah 6:16   Thus saith the LORD, Stand ye in the ways, and see, and ask for the old paths, where is the good way, and walk therein, and ye shall find rest for your souls. But they said, We will not walk therein.

The remedy is to seek the old paths.  Return to the former lifestyle, return to the Lord.  Find the good way and walk in it.  Do not respond as did Israel, “We will not walk therein.”  Such a sad statement – to hear the Lord’s call to repentance and a better life, and to refuse Him.

Jeremiah 6:17  Also I set watchmen over you, saying, Hearken to the sound of the trumpet. But they said, We will not hearken.

The Lord even gave them watchmen – like Jeremiah – who told the people of coming destruction.  Yet they continued in sin.

Jeremiah 6:19-20  Hear, O earth: behold, I will bring evil upon this people, even the fruit of their thoughts, because they have not hearkened unto my words, nor to my law, but rejected it.  20 To what purpose cometh there to me incense from Sheba, and the sweet cane from a far country? your burnt offerings are not acceptable, nor your sacrifices sweet unto me.

The result is that the religious “routines” of the people had no meaning to the Lord.  He wants the heart, not outward conformity.  He wants obedience, not sacrifices.  Is my “incense” sweet to the Lord and acceptable in His sight?  Or is my lifestyle stinking and putrid to Him because He sees my real motives and my heart?  If I continue in my sin I will reap the fruit of my thoughts and of my rejection of the Lord.

Jeremiah 6:29-30  The bellows are burned, the lead is consumed of the fire; the founder melteth in vain: for the wicked are not plucked away.  30 Reprobate silver shall men call them, because the LORD hath rejected them.

I want to be pure silver, having the dross removed.  I do not want to come to the end of my life and realize that it was all reprobate and fake.  Am I living a genuine Christian  - “Christlike” – life before the world?

Proverbs 5:21   For the ways of man are before the eyes of the LORD, and he pondereth all his goings.

The Heart of Jeremiah

Jeremiah 4

The Lord gave the command to Judah to break up their fallow ground, to circumcise their hearts to the Lord, and to return to the Lord.  Yet they didn’t listen, and so the Lord sent judgment.

:: V.10 Jeremiah questioned the Lord about the deceitfulness of promising peace, and then sending the sword against His people.  While the Lord has given us promises in His Word, I still have a free will.  If I choose to go my own way, the promises do not apply and the Lord is “forced” by my actions to send chastisement in order to bring me back in line.

:: V.19 Jeremiah was deeply affected by the news of what would happen to His countrymen.  He couldn’t hold his peace because he saw the war and heard the warning, and he wanted everyone to hear it.  I know the judgment that is coming on the wicked.  Am I sounding the warning and sharing the way of salvation?

:: V. 22 – how sad, and may it not be said of me: “My people…have none understanding: they are wise to do evil, but to do good they have no knowledge.”