I shall not want

I thought I had learned this lesson.  Many times.  But it keeps coming back.  “I shall not want.”  The Lord is teaching me this in new dimensions.  When I teach this verse to my kids, I ask them a series of questions.

“Who takes care of the sheep?”  Little voices answer with, “The Shepherd.”

“Who is the Shepherd?”  “Jesus.”

“Who is a sheep?”  “Me!”

The Shepherd takes care of the sheep.  His tenderness is pictured well in Isaiah 40:11 -  “He shall feed his flock like a shepherd: he shall gather the lambs with his arm, and carry them in his bosom, and shall gently lead those that are with young.”  He is so tender and loving; patient and kind.  Lifting those who need help.  Walking slowly with the little ones.  Even when it takes me a long time to learn what is He trying to teach me, He is still patient and loving and continues to walk with me.  He continues to prove Himself trustworthy.  He continues to meet my needs, so that I shall not want.

It took me a long time to learn that He provides financially.  Through seasons of no work, or underpaying work.  Through college bills and times of unexpected expenses.  Through bad economy and the needs of four children.  God has always provided what we need, just when we need it.

I used to be pretty stingy.  I can’t print those things for church because I will run out of ink.  Or, I can’t afford the gas to travel there/help that person.  Or, I can’t sign up to bring food for the church fellowship because I don’t enough.  Why did it take me so long to learn that God would supply what I unselfishly gave to others?  And yet many times I still have to remind myself that everything I have isn’t really mine – it came from God.  He provided our van.  He gave us our computer and printer.  He fills our refrigerator.  He gave me clothes for my children.  If I share it with someone else, He will replenish it (and He always gives more in return than I gave away to begin with).

Recently I felt like I had a breakthrough.  When there was no work (and thus no paycheck), I didn’t immediately cry or stress out, panicking about financial obligations.  There was peace that God would supply in the right timing.  And He did.  He has already made up what was lacking.  The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want.

Now He is teaching me that He is my Shepherd in other areas.  Not just financially, but emotionally, and spiritually too.  I have felt a little dry lately.  Probably because I have four kids and my “quiet” times with the Lord are not really very quiet, and they are nearly always very short.  But somehow…providentially…He provides just what I need.  Just a thought or a verse for the day.  A text that someone is praying for me.  An article online that speaks to what I am struggling with.  A compliment or funny moment from my kiddos.

I haven’t sat through an entire church service for a while.  There are two babies who never seem to want to nurse at “the right time.”  But the portions of the service that I do get have been filling me up.  A phrase from a song.  The Scripture reading.  Or just the third point of the sermon.  A teenager’s testimony.  The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want.

When things are hard in Mommy Land and I feel like I just can’t handle it, He is gently reminding me that He is there with me.  His grace is sufficient.  I can handle it.  When I feel like crying, or yelling, or having a nervous breakdown, He reminds me that this is His Will for me.  He tells me He is holding my hand.  He shows me that my kids are “catching” things from my life – is what I am “throwing” worth catching?  I don’t have to lean on another person.  It’s not what my husband can say, or the hug from a friend that gets me through.  It’s my Shepherd.  Gently leading me.  Sometimes carrying me.  The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want.

It’s one of those verses that we learn as a child.  One that many people probably know.  But it’s so profound – so hard to live out.  But so wonderful to experience.

The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want.

Much More

I recently designed and printed this picture to add to my bathroom décor.  I love daisies, and this verse was on my mind a lot when I wanted a new picture.

I’m so glad that I serve a God who has “much more” planned for me than I could imagine.  Who answers my prayers with “much more” than I asked for.  Who amazingly cares for His beautiful creation, and has promised to care for me “much more.”

We are embarking on a great step of faith.  We have really been living on faith since we arrived in New York City almost two and a half years ago.  Ben’s job has never paid enough or had good benefits.  But whenever there was a need, God has always provided.  I have kept a list, and it is over 3 pages long – of specifics needs God has met since we moved here.  I’m sure I have missed some along the way.

But now we take another step of faith – in excitement to see how God will provide, but admittedly in a little bit of nervousness at not knowing all of the “how’s” and “why’s”.  Our rent and utilities are increasing.  We are adding two more babies in a few months.  We need a bigger car. 

Sometimes I get overwhelmed when I think of all the purchases we need to make in a short time.  I worry because I know there isn’t enough money for all of it.  But then I remember that I sere the God of the “much more.” 

He has made the daisies so beautiful, so elegant, and yet so simple.  They are fleeting – here for a short time and then gone.  But he has promised to much more care for me – for food, drink, and raiment.  He has proven Himself trustworthy in the past.  I know He will take care of the future.

In the House of the Righteous is Much Treasure

I’ve been trying to read a Proverb a day this month.  Since today is the 15th I read Proverbs 15.  Many of the verses seemed to fall into three categories: The tongue; rich vs. poor; and foolish vs. wise.  But the verses on rich vs. poor stood out to me.  Maybe because we have had some recent physical/financial needs for which God has abundantly provided.  Maybe because we are still trusting Him to provide several things.

• Proverbs 15:6 In the house of the righteous is much treasure: but in the revenues of the wicked is trouble.
• Proverbs 15:16  Better is little with the fear of the LORD than great treasure and trouble therewith.
• Proverbs 15:17  Better is a dinner of herbs where love is, than a stalled ox and hatred therewith.
• Proverbs 15:27  He that is greedy of gain troubleth his own house; but he that hateth gifts shall live.

These verses clearly point out that it doesn’t matter what or how much you own, but the quality of your family life is what is important.  God will provide what we need physically when we are living in His will.  And God will do things better…abundantly…beyond our imagination.

Sometimes we have a skewed view of what it really takes to be rich.  My bank account would tell you differently, but I know that I am blessed beyond measure.  I am rich…just not with money.

A word of personal testimony…I never had the money sitting in the bank to pay for my college tuition.  I never took out a loan.  My parents helped a little when they could.  But I graduated debt free in four years.  God took care of the college bill because I was following His lead to be there in the first place.  {He may not choose to do it the same way for everyone, but certainly He will provide for us to follow His will}.

Though my kitchen cupboards are overflowing from God’s last provision, I received “gifts” from three more people this week.  One lady called us to pick up some food at the church.  There was an abundance of meat in the bags {something we have been cutting back on since finances were tight}.  A free haircut and several bags of toiletries.  Bags of groceries that were treats for my kids – juice boxes, cookies, and snacks.  Clothes for my children for the winter.

I don’t say this to boast, but to encourage.  We live in a very expensive city, in the middle of the worst economy since the Great Depression, and my husband makes a small wage with no benefits. 

So to the student who wants to attend Bible college, but doesn’t have the money…go.  Work hard. Let the Lord do amazing things for you.

To the mom who wants to stay home with her children, but doesn’t think they can survive on one income…do it.  If God wants you with your kids, He will provide what you need {and maybe you can cut out some of the “extras” in order to help make it possible}.

To the missionary on deputation with the looming task of raising enough support to get to the field…God will bring in your support.  If He has called you to that field, He will make the way for you to go there.

Don’t give up on doing God’s Will for your life because of the finances.  Don’t let the world tell you what you have to have to be a success.  Step out in faith, eat a dinner of herbs if you have to, and watch God do amazing things to provide for your needs.

The Armour of Light

“The night is far spent, the day is at hand: let us therefore cast off the works of darkness, and let us put on the armour of light.”
Romans 13:12

It truly is a spiritual warfare we are living in.  If we are not actively fighting, then  we are passively giving the enemy the victory.  We cannot (and should not!) be neutral.  “But thanks be to God, which giveth us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.” (1 Corinthians 15:57).  He has already provided the victory and won the battle – we must just claim it!

2 Corinthians 10:3-5  For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war after the flesh:  4 (For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds;)  5 Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;

He has also given us the spiritual armour (the armour of light) to fight the enemy.  It is found in Ephesians 6.

Ephesians 6:11-17   Put on the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil.  12 For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.  13 Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.  14 Stand therefore, having your loins girt about with truth, and having on the breastplate of righteousness;  15 And your feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace;  16 Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked.  17 And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God:

Today I want to cast of the dark works of my old man, and I want to walk in the light of fellowship with Christ.  “But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth us from all sin.”( 1 John 1:7).  I want to put on the armour of light and win the victory!

Grace

I grew up hearing this acrostic for grace:

G od’s
R iches
A t
C hrist’s
E xpense

One of my college professors, Pastor Frank Camp, had a different acrostic.  I like this one much better – I think it captures more of the full picture of what grace offers:

G od’s
R ighteous
A ssitance {which}
C hrist
E xtends

Though it is something I have known for a while, I am learning it anew in my daily walk.  Grace is not just for salvation.  Grace is for daily living.  Grace is Christ helping me to walk in the Spirit, to live a Spirit-filled life, to exchange my life {flesh and it’s unprofitable works} for His abundant life.  Grace is indeed that assistance which Christ extends to me to help me live righteously in the practical, day-to-day and moment-to-moment circumstances of my life.

“Therefore being justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ:  2 By whom also we have access by faith into this grace wherein we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God.  3 And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience;  4 And patience, experience; and experience, hope:  5 And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us.” Romans 5:1-5

Did you catch the picture of grace in the first two verses?  Grace is accessed by faith.  {This fits right in with Ephesians 2:8-9 – we are saved by grace through faith.}  Faith is what brings salvation to our hearts – we ask for God’s saving grace and He freely gives it without partiality.  But now that we are saved, we access His grace for daily living in exactly the same way – by faith. 

We already stand in grace.  Once we are saved, no one and no thing on earth can move us from that spot.  We are positionally saved and standing in grace.  But now we need grace to help us live the Christian life.  We have to take of the grace wherein we stand, so that practically we are saved on a moment by moment basis.

“For if by one man's offence death reigned by one; much more they which receive abundance of grace and of the gift of righteousness shall reign in life by one, Jesus Christ.)” Romans 5:17  

“Moreover the law entered, that the offence might abound. But where sin abounded, grace did much more abound:” Romans 5:20

Grace is sprinkled throughout Romans 5.  These two verses stood out to me.  We can have abundant righteous life if we receive the abundance of grace for daily living.  And those areas which we constant battle grounds and areas of loss to the enemy can be reclaimed – through grace.  Where sin abounded in my life, I can access grace (which abounds even more) by faith and take back the stronghold.

My pastor here in Brooklyn has yet another definition for grace.  It is not an acrostic, but just as descriptive.  Grace is all of Christ's sufficiencies for all of my insufficiencies.  The more I try to do it on my own, the more I realize how insufficient I am.  But I can have Christ – who is “all in all” be sufficient for me.

“As ye have therefore received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk ye in him…” {Colossians 2:6}

How did we receive Christ?  By grace, through faith.  Today, walk in Him in the same manner. 
Walk in grace accessed by faith.

Despising the Manna

Pastor Bickel preached from Deuteronomy 8 on Sunday.  He was talking about the way in which God leads us, and the provision with which He feeds us.  Verses2-3 say,

Deuteronomy 8:2-3  And thou shalt remember all the way which the LORD thy God led thee these forty years in the wilderness, to humble thee, and to prove thee, to know what was in thine heart, whether thou wouldest keep his commandments, or no.  3 And he humbled thee, and suffered thee to hunger, and fed thee with manna, which thou knewest not, neither did thy fathers know; that he might make thee know that man doth not live by bread only, but by every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of the LORD doth man live.

I have been thinking about the Children of Israel and their Manna.  Their “what is it” was God’s heavenly provision for their need at that time.  It lasted until He gave them a new provision – the Promised Land…victorious Christian living.

What did they do with the Manna?  They were thankful for a while.  Then they complained and wanted meat.  God gave them their desire but sent leanness to their soul (Ps. 106:15).  The meat was okay…for a while.  Then they remembered the leeks and the onions and the fish in Egypt.  God’s provision wasn’t good enough anymore.

I think I have been guilty of the same attitude.  God has provided for us every step of the way since we moved to NYC in June 2010.  We never had enough money to pay all of the bills, but they all got paid, and on time.  God always sent His Manna from unexpected sources, and right when we needed it.  It was there when the sun came up.

But I think I’ve been complaining.  I’ve been viewing God’s Manna as not enough…anymore.  I have said to Ben several times that I am not asking for an extravagant lifestyle.  I just want to be able to pay the bills and afford food (and maybe even dining out once in a while).  It never occurred to me that maybe God didn’t want to provide a lifestyle where we could always afford the bills.  The food.  The entertainment when we wanted.  Maybe He wanted us to run short every month.  It taught us to depend on Him.

Recently we have mentioned our salary in Virginia Beach upon several occasions.  I think we have been remembering the leeks and onions, and it has caused us to despise the Manna – God’s provision for right now.

I read Jeremiah 7-8 this morning.  God is pronouncing judgment on His wayward people.  They were a people that took what God had given and used it to serve other gods.  Then they came to stand before God and expected Him to bless what they were wickedly doing in His Holy House.  God was disgusted with their sin. With their hypocrisy (7:9-11).  With their inability to blush as their rank sin (8:12).  He was so outraged that He didn’t even want anyone to pray for His people, because He would turn a deaf ear to those prayers (7:16).  They had provoked Him to anger and brought this harm upon themselves (7:19).  All He wanted was obedience (7:23).

I don’t want to be like Israel.  I want to be thankful for the Manna today.  I want to bask in the awesomeness of God’s provision for me.  Not always in abundance, but always when I need it.  I have questioned before Psalm 36:7-9 saying “Where is my fatness and abundance?  Why doesn’t God give that to me?”  But He has given it.  Every time He pours out a blessing from His heavenly store it is good, and fat, and in abundance, because it came from Him.  He knows my needs and He sees beyond my limited vision to know what is best for me.

Despise not the Manna of today.

“For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.”
Jeremiah 29:11

The Ribbon of Blue, The Call to Service, The Veil is Rent

The ribbon of blue and the fringes on the garments were to be a perpetual reminder to remember the commandments of the Lord, to not seek after their own heart and eyes, and fall into idolatry.  When you see the ribbon, remember, and obey (Num.15:38-41).  I never knew this was for all of Israel before.

Numbers 16:9  Seemeth it but a small thing unto you, that the God of Israel hath separated you from the congregation of Israel, to bring you near to himself to do the service of the tabernacle of the LORD, and to stand before the congregation to minister unto them?

I must remember not to take it lightly that the Lord has chosen to accept us into His service and His ministry.  It is all of the Lord and none of me, and I must remember my place and not allow myself to be puffed up in pride and assumption.  (This is the passage on Korah’s rebellion).

Mark 15:15  And so Pilate, willing to content the people, released Barabbas unto them, and delivered Jesus, when he had scourged him, to be crucified.

This illustrates the danger of making decisions based on pressure, or giving in to peer pressure.  Pilate, willing to make the people happy sacrificed the Lord of glory to be crucified.  While this was part of God’s ultimate plan to provide salvation to all men, Pilate was still guilty of allowing it to come to pass, just as Judas was still guilty for betraying Him.

Mark 15:37-39  And Jesus cried with a loud voice, and gave up the ghost.  38 And the veil of the temple was rent in twain from the top to the bottom.  39 And when the centurion, which stood over against him, saw that he so cried out, and gave up the ghost, he said, Truly this man was the Son of God.

Some powerful verses!  Jesus’ willing death opened the veil for me to have access to God anytime without going through a mediator as a believer-priest.  Say with the centurion, “Truly this man was the Son of God!”

Is the Lord’s hand short?

As I ponder this seemingly difficult task of moving from Virginia Beach to Brooklyn, when we have no job and no apartment lined up, and yet we have to give notice to vacate here, I am overwhelmed.  It is just…impossible (or so it seems).  How can it be done?  How do we know when  we are to go if we don’t have a job yet?  How in the world can we come up with three months rent for a security deposit when the rent is somewhere around $1500 per month?  That’s more than the down payment my parents made on their first house!  Don’t worry…I am still excited and overjoyed that we are going. It’s just that we are now down to the nitty gritty details.

It was from this overwhelmed and questioning mindset that I came to my devotions yesterday.  I started reading in Numbers 11.  This is what verse 23 says, and this is what God whispered to my heart…

“And the LORD said unto Moses,
Is the LORD'S hand waxed short?
thou shalt see now whether my word shall come to pass unto thee or not.”

A resounding NO!  God’s hand is not shortened.  My God is the same powerful God of the Israelites, Who parted the Red Sea and gave manna in the wilderness.  He slew the giant for David, walked with the three Hebrew children in the fiery furnace, and protected Daniel from the lions.  He died for me on Calvary and rose from the grave three days later.  No…the Lord’s hand is not waxed short.  I can’t wait to see what He will do to bring His Word to pass in our lives.  I am reminded of the words from the song Grace, “His Will cannot lead me where His grace will not keep me.”   

“…Fear ye not,
stand still,
and see the salvation of the LORD,
which he will shew to you to day…”
(Exodus 14:13)

Feb. 22, 2010 Devotions – Help My Unbelief

Leviticus 10:10  And that ye may put difference between holy and unholy, and between unclean and clean;

While I may not “be” holy as God is, yet He looks upon me as holy when He sees Jesus Christ.  I am to live a “holy” life before Him, and before others, that they may see a difference between the holy and the unholy.

Mark 4:40 “And he said unto them, Why are ye so fearful? how is it that ye have no faith?”  This is what Jesus said to His disciples just after the storm.  He was in the boat with them the entire time, yet they thought that they were about to perish, and awoke Him in fear.  Sometimes this idea of living in Brooklyn, of moving, of making it financially, of raising a family in the City, of being a Pastor’s wife, make me very fearful.  Like giants of doubt and failure breathing down upon me.  And what is His response (when I finally bring my burden to His feet)?  “Why are you so fearful?  Where is your faith?”  I pray with the man of Mark 9:24 - “Lord, I believe; help thou mine unbelief.”  I want to have stronger faith.  I want to trust my Lord and rely upon His promises…as a way of life and not just as a last resort.  Lord – help my unbelief!

Mark 5:36 As soon as Jesus heard the word that was spoken, he saith unto the ruler of the synagogue, Be not afraid, only believe.

NYC or Bust!

We have been struggling with our decision regarding New York City.  Today Ben came home and told me that he thinks we should go.  Focusing on finances does not increase our faith.  We have been concerned with how to get there, rather than should we be going.  Yes.  We are going.  Tell me – what is impossible when God is on your side?  He is leading us there.  He has opened the door.  He will have to provide the means for us to live in the city.  I know God can do it… “But as for God, His way is perfect!”

Mark 3:4-5   And he saith unto them, Is it lawful to do good on the sabbath days, or to do evil? to save life, or to kill? But they held their peace.  5 And when he had looked round about on them with anger, being grieved for the hardness of their hearts, he saith unto the man, Stretch forth thine hand. And he stretched it out: and his hand was restored whole as the other.

Oh how sad it must make God when we harden our hearts in stubbornness and unbelief.  It angers Him and breaks His heart at the same time.  Lord, please keep me tender toward you!

Feb. 9, 2010 Devotions

Exodus 28 – Instructions for the High Priest’s Garments & Work

How wonderful it is that I can come before the Lord without the mediating work of a High Priest!  I have the Best High Priest – Jesus Christ the Son of God.  In vs. 29 Aaron was to bear the names of the twelve tribes into the throne room of God.  Christ bore my name before God the Father when I accepted Him as my Savior.  Now I bear His name and I have access to the Holiest at any time, from any place.  Praise the Lord for my High Priest who offered Himself as one sacrifice for sins forever and finished the work of salvation!

Feb. 2, 2010 Devotions

Just to clarify, I am on the One Year Bible reading schedule.  I am reading the OT & NT daily, in addition to BSF.  I will figure out Psalms and Proverbs later.

 

Exodus 16:32 – the Lord commanded to keep a pot of manna to show to future generations so that they would know what He had done for His people.  I need to show my children what the Lord has done for our family.

God will always provide for His children.  A tree made the waters sweet.  Moses’ rod brought water from the rock.  Manna fell to the earth daily.  Why take ye thought for the morrow?  Seek ye first the kingdom of God, and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you.

Matthew 22:31-32 “… have ye not read that which was spoken unto you by God, saying,  32 I am the God of Abraham, and the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob? God is not the God of the dead, but of the living.”  Praise the Lord that He has made me alive in Christ!