Joy in Answering Right

I haven’t posted anything from my study on joy recently.  It’s a lot to process, and even more to live out.  But I wanted to go back to it (I have moved on to another study now) to refresh and remind myself what I learned.

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One thing that I often struggle with is the misuse of my mouth.  I get carried away before I notice…whether it is saying the wrong thing, using the wrong tone, or just talking too much.  I have two daughters, and I have been noticing that sometimes they just talk incessantly, and often it is the same dribble over and over again.  But then I realized…I do that too!  Prov. 10:19 says that in the multitude of words there wanteth not sin.  But Prov. 15:23 teaches us that giving the right answer brings us joy!

“A man hath joy by the answer of his mouth: and a word spoken in due season, how good is it!”

The answer that I give and the way that I speak can bring me joy.  Sometimes it is just the timing that is vital.  Recently I was able to encourage a friend as she went through a trail.  I was able to say to her, at the right time, some of the things that God had taught me previously through the same trial.  It was a great feeling to be able to speak what I know God wanted me to say, at the right moment.  He had prepared me for that situation by allowing me to go through the trial already.  He had worked His own words into my heart through the difficulty, and then they were able to come out and be a blessing and encouragement to someone else in the same difficulty.  That was a joyous moment! 

“Many a good word comes short of doing the good it might have done, for want of being well-timed.”  --Mathew Henry

Last November I completed a study on 1 Samuel 25 – the story of Abigail.  Several times in that chapter Abigail illustrated this principle of the joy that comes from the answer that we give.  She was able to humbly address David (who was not yet the king) and speak words to him that helped him to see the error of his way, and stem the tide of his anger, which was bent on wiping out Abigail’s household.  She was able to not speak to her husband and tell him what had happened, because her husband was drunk and she knew it was the wrong timing to bring up the situation.  Later, when God had taken care of the situation (and her evil husband was dead), Abigail was able to rejoice in her part of giving the right answer.

I also thought of Joseph as a Biblical example.  His brothers had sold him into slavery in Egypt, but God had promoted him to be the second in command in the entire country.  His brothers came to Egypt seeking food in the famine.  Joseph did not reveal himself to them on the first meeting.  He did not lash out and blame them for his trials.  He waited until the right moment to tell them that he was Joseph, and that God had used him to save many souls alive.  He used his tongue in the right way, and in the right time, and his relationship with his brothers was restored.

Some other examples would include Esther – her timing in approaching the king and waiting to give her request illustrates the need for proper timing in our speech.  Mary responded to the angel, “Behold the handmaid of the Lord; be it unto me according to thy word” (Luke 1:38).  She accepted what he wanted her to do, she gave a submissive response, and she had the joy of being the mother of Jesus.

Let’s have joy by the answer we give today!

Apples of Gold

“A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver.”
Proverbs 25:11

It can be hard to speak the right thing at the right time!  It’s even harder to teach your children how to discern what to say and when to say it.  A friend shared this acrostic at a baby shower recently to help us determine if our words will be “fitly spoken”.

A – appropriate

P – pleasant

P – pure

L – lovely

E – encouraging

S – soft

Let’s have “apples” of gold words today!

The Law of Kindness

I have been mulling over something for a while.  Chewing on it – trying to really let the Lord teach me what it means.  I don’t have it completely figured out yet, but He is making me aware of it’s truth in my daily circumstances.

Of all the virtues of the Proverbs 31 woman, I think I struggle with this one the most.  Proverbs 31:26 says, “She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.”  More and more I have been becoming aware of the fact that my tongue does not always speak kindness.  Whether it is my actual words, my tone of voice, or the attitude and thrust behind what I say, I need to have more kindness to those whom I am addressing.

As I was meditating on this I started to think about that word law.  What is a law?  The first thing that came to my mind was the speed limit law.  It is easily, and frequently, broken by many.  Is a law really something that can be so easily disregarded?  Next I thought about laws of physics, science, and mathematics.  We call it the law of gravity.  It is something that is always true – consistent, dependable. You can’t just decide to disregard the law of gravity.  Because it is always in effect.

I looked up the word law in the dictionary.  Here are some of the facets of this word:

• A binding custom or practice
• A rule of conduct or action
• A statement of an order or relation of phenomena that so far as is known is invariable under the given conditions

The Hebrew word for law is hr'To and it comes from the root word which means to throw.  According to TWOT {Theological Wordbook of the Old Testament}, “The word tora means basically ‘teaching’ whether it is the wise man instructing his son or God instructing Israel.” (Volume 1, page 404, word 910d).

So what does all of this have to do with my tongue?  If, as a virtuous woman, I am to have the law of kindness in the words I speak, then it must be something that is invariably true.  Kindness must be the major characteristic that others can expect every time I open my mouth to share something.  It must be a law – binding, rule of conduct, invariable under the given conditions.

I find that my tongue varies from kindness most easily in stressful situations.  I get frazzled, frustrated, or overwhelmed, and I lash out with my words.  Maybe I just speak too hurried and rudely.  Maybe I tell my little girl to be quiet and leave me alone.  Sometimes I vary from kindness when I myself have been hurt.  I want to make someone else feel the pain that I am experiencing, so I make unkind and untrue, or even exaggerated accusations.  An exaggeration is something that is not completely true, and that is not kind. Even under these conditions, my words must be invariably kind.  The circumstances don’t change the law.  It is consistent.

And if I am always speaking that which is kind, it will have an effect on others.  It will teach them how to be kind themselves.  Just like the word tora – I can be a wise woman instructing others.  That goes back to the beginning of our verse: she openeth her mouth with wisdom.  I want my children to learn the law of kindness.  And they will catch it best by watching me live it out.

“And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.” {Ephesians 4:32}