I Reckon

I have been studying through Romans 8 with the Doorposts blog “Busy Mamas Bible Study.”  This chapter is so rich that we can barely scratch the surface in a 30-day study.  I am currently digging into verse 18:

For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us.

As part of the lesson, we read Matthew Henry’s commentary on Romans 8:17-25.  (I find it on the Blue Letter Bible app, or BlueLetterBible.com for free).  I love his description of “I reckon.”

“I reckon, as an arithmetician that is balancing an account.  He first sums up what is disbursed for Christ in the sufferings of this present time, and finds they come to very little; he then sums up what is secured to us by Christ in the glory that shall be revealed, and this he finds to be an infinite sum, transcending all conception, the disbursement abundantly made up and the losses infinitely countervailed.  And who would be afraid then to suffer for Christ, who as he is before-hand with us in suffering, so he will not be behind-hand with us in recompense?”

A couple of other thoughts on this verse:

1. The word for "suffering" is translated as "affections" in Gal.5:24 - crucify the flesh with the affections and lusts. I was digging into the relationship between suffering and "affliction" and trying to understand why it was translated that way. I think the base word is really a strong feeling.

Think of the strong feeling - the aversion, the weight, the "suffering" - that we feel when we are going through a trial or difficult circumstances. Its a strong feeling. A passion. Christ's suffering on Calvary is sometimes referred to as passion week or the Passion of Christ.

But our affections for the world, which we are to "crucify" in Gal.5:24 are also strong feelings - strong attachments to the world. And if we keep those fleshly affections, they ultimately bring suffering because of the consequences of sin.

2. As I was meditating on glory I was struck with the fact that the Hebrew (OT) word for glory is kavod or "weight." To ascribe glory to something was to give it due importance because it was weighty.  It also has a reference to the fact that in that day, payment was made in gold (so a heavy amount of gold was something of great value).

When I skimmed through the Treasury of Scripture Knowledge verses for "glory" (in the NT) I came away with the constant comparison that our suffering here is light and our glory (weight) in heaven will be "heavy" - great, important. Maybe it's insignificant, but I never thought of the "heaviness" of the glory compared to the lightness of the suffering. 

This falls right in with the meaning of “reckon” also.  As an accounting term, it was to weigh things in the balance.  As Matthew Henry described, when we weigh the minute suffering here on earth with our heavenly inheritance, the latter far outweighs (or counter-balances) the light suffering.

Therefore…walk worthy

In my current Busy Mamas Bible Study I had to go through the book of Ephesians.  In chapters 1-3 I highlighted everything that God has done for me.  This was very eye-opening to see so clearly what God has done for me.  Sometimes, a girl who was raised in a Christian home, and never committed any “major” sins, I take for granted exactly what God did when He reached out and saved my soul.  Ephesians 4:1 opens with the words, “Therefore…walk worthy of the vocation wherewith ye are called.”  The next three chapters list command after command – each of which we are to do because of what God has done for us (chapters 1-3).  It is a “reasonable” service to do these things in response to everything that Christ did for us in salvation!

• 1. 3 – Blessed us with all spiritual blessings
• 1. 4 chosen us in Him before the foundation of the world
• 1.5 predestinated us to the adoption of children
• 1.6 made us accepted in the beloved
• 1.7 redeemed us through His blood
• 1.7 forgiven our sins
• 1.8 abounded toward us in all wisdom and prudence
• 1.9 revealed the mystery of His will
• 1.11 given us an inheritance
• 1.13 sealed us with the Spirit of promise
• 2:1 quickened me, when I was dead in sin
• 2:4 loved me with a great love
• 2:5 quickened me together with Christ
• 2:6 raised us up together to sit in heavenly places in Christ Jesus
• 2:10 created me in Christ Jesus unto good works
• 2:10 ordained that I should walk in good works
• 2:13 brought me near by the blood of Christ
• 2:14 broken down the wall of partition
• 2:16 reconciled both Jew and Gentile to God through the cross
• 2:16 slain the enmity

Our responsibility in response to these things…

• 4.1 Walk worthy
• 4.2 Keep the unity
• 4.14 Be no more children [but be mature]
• 4.15 Speak the truth in love
• 4.15 Grow up into Christ
• 4.17 Walk not as other Gentiles
• 4.22 Put off the old man
• 4.23 Renew your mind
• 4.24 Put on the new man
• 4.25 Put away lying and speak truth
• 4.26 Let not the sun go down upon your wrath
• 4.27 Do not give place to the devil
• 4.28 Do not steal, but work with your hands
• 4.29 Do not have corrupt communication
• 4.29 Speak edifying words
• 4.30 Grieve not the Holy Spirit
• 4.31 Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamour, evil speaking, and malice be put away
• 4.32 Be kind
• 4.32 Forgive as Christ forgave
• 5.1 Be followers of God
• 5.2 Walk in love
• 5.3 Let uncleanness, fornication, and covetousness not be named among you even once
• 5.7 Be not partakers with the children of disobedience
• 5.8 Walk as children of light
• 5.10 Prove what is acceptable unto the Lord
• 5.11 Have no fellowship with unfruitful works of darkness
• 5.11 Reprove the works of darkness
• 5.15 Walk circumspectly
• 5.16 Redeem the time
• 5.17 Be not unwise
• 5.17 Understand God’s Will
• 5.18 Be not drunk with wine
• 5.18 Be filled with the Spirit
• 5.19 Speak psalms and hymns to yourselves
• 5.20 Give thanks always for all things
• 5.21 Submit yourselves to one another
• 5.22 Wives submit to your husbands
• 5.25 Husbands love your wives
• 5.28 Husbands love your wives as your own body
• 5.33 Husbands love your wives as yourself
• 5.33 Wives reverence your husbands
• 6.1 Children obey your parents
• 6.2 Children honor your father and mother
• 6.4 Fathers provoke not your children to wrath
• 6.4 Bring up your children in the admonition of the Lord
• 6.5 Servants obey your masters
• 6.7 Do your service as to the Lord and not to men
• 6.10 Be strong in the Lord
• 6.11 Put on the whole armor of God
• 6.13 Take the whole armor of God
• 6.14 Stand therefore [against the devil]
• 6.18 Pray always
• 6.18 Watch with perseverance

So, go – and walk worthy of the vocation wherewith ye are called!

The Answer to “Why”

I recently listened to this interview with Naghmeh Abedini, wife of Iranian-American pastor Saeed Abedini who is serving an eight-year prison sentence for his faith.  I was touched by his answer to the “why” question in regards to suffering.

There is no way to compare my “suffering” or trials with what this family has gone through, but the answer to my “why” questions is the same.  The answer is “Who” – Who is in control.

The answer to the "why" is "Who." Who is in control? The Lord Jesus Christ is in control. I desire for you to learn important lessons during these trying times, lessons that you carry now for the rest of your life. The answer to the "why" is "Who." The confusion of "why has all of this happened," and why your prayers are not answered is resolved with understanding Who is in control—the Lord Jesus Christ, our God.

God is in control of that whole world and everything that is happening in it, for His good purpose, for His glory, and will be worked out for our good (Romans 8:28). Jesus allows me to be kept here for His glory. He's doing something inside each of us and also outside in the world.

--Saeed Abedini, in a letter to his daughter for her 8th birthday

I have recently asked a lot of “why” questions.  Why deputation?  Why does it take so long?  Why did we wait to start until we had four children?  Why isn’t there another way?  Why twins?  Why is child training so difficult?

The answer is “Who.”  Who is in control?  The Lord.  He has designed this process for me and my family, at this time.  He has designed it to mold us more into the image of Christ.  He has designed it to make us more of a testimony of the Gospel and it’s power to change lives.  He has designed it to teach us to rely on Him for everything, even our “daily bread.”  He has designed it to give us more ministry experience and to let us see other churches in operation and to hear stories of successful church plants so that when we go to the Bronx we are armed with lessons learned from the experience of others.

The answer to “why” is “Who.”  That’s a powerful thought that can realign my focus to where it needs to be – on Christ.

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Pouring in the Scriptures

Being a mom of little kids can be exhausting physically – and spiritually.  So many times I come to the end of my day or my week, and to my shame I realize how little time I have spent in prayer or in reading the Word of God.  And the time that I have spent in those activities has been in five minutes here or a whispered quick prayer there.  Rarely is it a large chunk of time that I get to indulge in my devotional time.

But when I am running on empty and feeling dry, that is when I really need to pour the Scriptures into my life and speak the truth to my heart.  If I don’t I will trip and fall into that trap of the enemy – again.  I will make a mess of relationships and situations – again.  I will rely on myself – again.  This is so dangerous because Romans 7:18 says “For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh,) dwelleth no good thing…”

And yet sometimes it is just impossible to carve out that chunk of time.  Many times I can do it if I choose to – if I check Facebook less often, or shorten my nap, or leave the dishes in the sink.  But there are times when I just can’t get up earlier because I’ve been up all night with the baby.  Or I can’t find quiet time because the kids are acting out today. 

The Lord has shown me some creative ways that I can still pour the Scriptures into my heart, and meditate on the truth of God.

• “Decorate” my house with the Word of God.  When a verse or passage really speaks to my heart or to the situation I am facing, I print it out and hang it in a visible place in my home.  I have a cluster of verses on the wall where I will see them first thing in the morning.  All of my kitchen cabinets are covered in verses.  This helps me to see God’s Word many times through the day and be reminded to meditate on it or pray it for my family and friends.
• Listen to sermons.  We don’t have a washing machine, so someone has to spend a couple of hours at the laundry mat each week.  I load up my iPhone with podcasts (Revive Our Hearts with Nancy Leigh DeMoss) and sermons (Ambassador Baptist College Chapel) and I listen as I work.  I play them while I’m in the shower and the kids are busy elsewhere.  I play them in the car when we’re driving.  God always uses the sermon/podcast next in my list to be just what I need at that moment.  This has been so helpful also since I often don’t get to sit through a whole church service without leaving to feed the babies.
• Play Christian music in the home.  Sometimes it is just too much noise, but I try to have background music on as much as possible.  Even just a phrase that I catch as I pass through the room will stick in my head throughout the day and encourage or challenge me.
• Teach my children.  God is using parenting my littles to really refine several areas in my own life.  And so often the song I choose to teach them, or the Bible story we read has one application to them, and a different facet of an application to my own life and situation.  He challenges me, encourages me, and convicts me as I teach my children.  Even just the simple prayers that they offer to God are a challenge to me.  They are so faithful to remember certain people, never forgetting to mention them in prayer.  And often I wish I was that dedicated to prayer for others.

How about you?  How do you keep the Scriptures a priority when time seems short or your season of life is so overwhelming?

The Little Yes

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Abandoning all to Him.  Surrender.  Living with open hands.  Open to whatever God chooses to place into them or take out of them.  It can be a very fearful thing.  Never knowing what God has planned.  And while I made that one “big yes” to God (Romans 12:1) as a teenager, I often struggle to say “yes” moment by moment, day by day.

It’s not the big plans of my life that I have trouble relinquishing.  It’s not who I will marry or where I will live, or what is my career.  Many of those questions have been answered already (at least for now).  It’s the little plans.  Letting Him control the path of my day when I had so many things that I wanted to accomplish. 

It’s the “I wanted to do __________ during naptime but the baby won’t sleep.”

It’s the “I never get time for myself.”

It’s the “Why are all of my kids sick, again?”

It’s the “I’m so tired of changing diapers and washing dishes and wiping up spills.”

In those mundane, everyday tasks and plans which are so necessary to daily life.  That is where I resist.  That is where I hold back.  That is where I try to force my plans instead of opening my hand to God’s agenda for my day. 

That is where I must surrender.

“Then said Jesus unto his disciples, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me.”
Matthew 16:24 

Every Thought Obedient

Last week was pretty rough.  Looking back I can see that many of the “problems” stemmed from giving in to my feelings and listening to my wrong thoughts.  I didn’t counsel my heart according to the Word of God, but I relied on myself and my instincts. 

Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ…
2 Corinthians 10:5

I must always be on the offensive, taking those wrong thought patterns and putting them in their place – under the authority of Christ.  He died to give me the ability to do so.  He died so that I didn’t have to live enslaved.

I have recently realized (through a Bible study at church) that the reason I choose to live by my own feelings and listen to my own thoughts is because I am an idolater.  I have idolized myself so much that I choose to listen to me instead God’s Word, that I choose to operate on what I feel rather than on what He says is true.

It is definitely a moment-by-moment battle.  I can’t lock all the thoughts away at the beginning of the day and be done.  I wish it were that easy.  I’m thankful that we have the Holy Spirit who there moment-by-moment to fight the battle, to counsel my heart, to lead me in the right.

Though my sin nature is ever present, it doesn’t have to have any dominion or power over me.  This excerpt from my devotional book today really describes it well.

I don’t want to live enslaved to a tyrant who no longer has a right to demean and terrorize me, tormenting me with guilt and self-doubt.  I’m tired of giving the devil more airtime in my mind than I give the Holy Spirit.”

~Lazarus Awakening, by Joanna Weaver

The Work of the Moment