Proverbs 31:26

“She openeth her mouth with wisdom, and in her tongue is the law of kindness.”

Adorn it with Modesty

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I've been reading in Titus recently.  Today as I re-read chapter 2, about the instruction which older women are to give to younger women, I was challenged.  And I was sad.  Because we don't seem to be as concerned with these characteristics anymore. 

Here are some thoughts.  As I read the characteristics in Titus 2, I realized that many of them are in real shortage today.  I may step on some toes.  But verse 15 says to speak these things. I am not claiming to be perfect on any of these areas.  We can always improve.  But I want my life...and yours...to "adorn the doctrine of God our Savior in all things" (verse 10).  If that means that we need to change something, then so be it!

 

I have ben kind of discouraged lately by the utter lack of modesty that I find all around me.  I expect it from the world.  But I expect the church to be a safe place on this topic...a community all in agreement with God's principles of dress and modesty.  As I talk with others I find that this apparent disregard for modesty is everywhere.

 

:: Behavior that is Holy (verse 3)

This encompasses so much!  My words, my attitudes, my child rearing.  The books I read, the movies I watch.  My time management, and how much time I spend in God's Word.  And the things I wear.  Holy means set apart.  Set apart from the world and unto God.  I cannot be holy if I am blending in with the current fashions and trends in clothing.

 

:: Sober (verse 4)

Serious minded.  Not flippant.  Not foolish.  Not happy-go-lucky in all things.  But considering the serious ramifications of choices that we make.  It doesn't mean we have to be stern or grumpy or never smile.  But I do think we could use some more soberness when it comes to mothering, child-rearing {and discipline}, homemaking, and yes, even clothing.  Let's get serious about what our choices in apparel reveal about our heart.

 

:: Discreet (verse 4)

I struggle with this area.  I don't always keep secrets well.  Sometimes I say things I shouldn't...because I feel like I need to say something.  Discretion also encompasses clothing.  I selected the picture at the top of this post because I think that we could all use more discretion in how we dress.  We need to consider with each garment whether or not it will be a stumblingblock.  Will it cause a brother in Christ to struggle with his thoughts?  It's not just about pants vs. skirts, or high necklines and loose clothing. It's about discretion.  Does this dress "adorn the doctrine of Christ?"  Or does it cause me to blend in with the world?  Is it modest, and holy?  Is it discreet?

 

:: Chaste (verse 4)

This is a word we don't often use anymore.  It is defined like this:  pure in thought and act, modest.  Our clothing choices must be chaste.  Many times I blush in embarrassment for others at how much their clothing reveals.  Too many times I have to warn my husband not to look.  And it's not just in society any more.  Sadly, sometimes it is at church too.  Let's be the kind of chaste women who dress how we would want other women to dress around our husbands.  Let's start a new trend of chastity and modesty.  Let's be above reproach, "that the word of God be not blasphemed" (verse 5).  Let's give no room for someone to point a finger at us.  Let's choose to put aside our own likes or fashion desires for what God wants, and for what will benefit our Christian brothers and sisters.  Is it really such a sacrifice to give up an article of clothing that may be "on the line?"

 

I remember when I was growing up that everyone at church dressed the same way.  It was a safe place.  Everything we were doing, in an effort to line up with God's Word, was supported by a community within the church that was doing the same thing.  I didn't feel awkward in my long dresses and high necklines.  Everyone else dressed the same too.  Now it seems as if we try to "push the envelope", getting as close to the line of immodest as we can without actually stepping over.  But many times we do step over.  Let's not flirt with sin.  Let's steer clear of the line.  I think it's time to be Titus 2 women.

The Law of Kindness

I have been mulling over something for a while.  Chewing on it – trying to really let the Lord teach me what it means.  I don’t have it completely figured out yet, but He is making me aware of it’s truth in my daily circumstances.

Of all the virtues of the Proverbs 31 woman, I think I struggle with this one the most.  Proverbs 31:26 says, “She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.”  More and more I have been becoming aware of the fact that my tongue does not always speak kindness.  Whether it is my actual words, my tone of voice, or the attitude and thrust behind what I say, I need to have more kindness to those whom I am addressing.

As I was meditating on this I started to think about that word law.  What is a law?  The first thing that came to my mind was the speed limit law.  It is easily, and frequently, broken by many.  Is a law really something that can be so easily disregarded?  Next I thought about laws of physics, science, and mathematics.  We call it the law of gravity.  It is something that is always true – consistent, dependable. You can’t just decide to disregard the law of gravity.  Because it is always in effect.

I looked up the word law in the dictionary.  Here are some of the facets of this word:

• A binding custom or practice
• A rule of conduct or action
• A statement of an order or relation of phenomena that so far as is known is invariable under the given conditions

The Hebrew word for law is hr'To and it comes from the root word which means to throw.  According to TWOT {Theological Wordbook of the Old Testament}, “The word tora means basically ‘teaching’ whether it is the wise man instructing his son or God instructing Israel.” (Volume 1, page 404, word 910d).

So what does all of this have to do with my tongue?  If, as a virtuous woman, I am to have the law of kindness in the words I speak, then it must be something that is invariably true.  Kindness must be the major characteristic that others can expect every time I open my mouth to share something.  It must be a law – binding, rule of conduct, invariable under the given conditions.

I find that my tongue varies from kindness most easily in stressful situations.  I get frazzled, frustrated, or overwhelmed, and I lash out with my words.  Maybe I just speak too hurried and rudely.  Maybe I tell my little girl to be quiet and leave me alone.  Sometimes I vary from kindness when I myself have been hurt.  I want to make someone else feel the pain that I am experiencing, so I make unkind and untrue, or even exaggerated accusations.  An exaggeration is something that is not completely true, and that is not kind. Even under these conditions, my words must be invariably kind.  The circumstances don’t change the law.  It is consistent.

And if I am always speaking that which is kind, it will have an effect on others.  It will teach them how to be kind themselves.  Just like the word tora – I can be a wise woman instructing others.  That goes back to the beginning of our verse: she openeth her mouth with wisdom.  I want my children to learn the law of kindness.  And they will catch it best by watching me live it out.

“And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.” {Ephesians 4:32}