Precious Thoughts

I often supplement my current Bible Study or devotional readings with the adoration list from Every Bitter Thing Is Sweet.  January and February the topics were all things I was wrestling through already.  I came to the 22nd when we were looking at the characteristic of God as a personal God, who knows me individually.  God really used Psalm 139 to tie a lot of things together for me.

Psalm 139:17-18 – How precious also are Thy thoughts unto me, O God!  how great is the sum of them!  If I should count them, they are more in number than the sand: when I awake, I am still with thee.

For some time now, I have started my {almost} daily prayer time with Jeremiah 29:11-14, which says,

For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end. 12 Then shall ye call upon me, and ye shall go and pray unto me, and I will hearken unto you. 13 And ye shall seek me, and find [me], when ye shall search for me with all your heart. 14 And I will be found of you, saith the LORD: and I will turn away your captivity, and I will gather you from all the nations, and from all the places whither I have driven you, saith the LORD; and I will bring you again into the place whence I caused you to be carried away captive.

I know that these verses were spoken to Israelites which were headed into captivity, and yet the Lord has used them in my life over and over again.  I have struggled with this “captivity” of temporary housing and “limbo” and transition that we have been “stuck” in for 18 months.  I have questioned why God would call us to church planting, provide for our financial needs by allowed us to reach full support after only 2.5 years of deputation, and then just drop us off to sit and wait for three months, because we can’t really get started on church planting until we have a house.  So I have asked God to help me know that His plans are good.  That His plans are not of evil.  That He does have a plan, and that He is at work, even when I can’t see it.

I don’t particularly care for sand, but I came across this picture from our very last deputation trip and I was remind that God’s thoughts are more than the sand pictured here, which is a small portion of all the sand there is in the world!

We have done everything we can to secure housing.  And now we just wait for the bank’s decision.  It is all in God’s hands, and my patience has run thin many times.  But today I read that His thoughts (good thoughts and plans according to Jer. 29), are more than the sand, and they are precious.  

As I meditated on this truth, the Lord caused me to think about my moments and days as a mom to five little kids.  It seems that my day is filled with thoughts of other people (though this in no way means I am an unselfish person…).  It revolves around what DVD the 2nd grader needs me to start for school, and did I remind the 3 years olds to go potty, and did I bake bread so that I can feed these hungry kids, and the five year old needs clean socks so I have to start the laundry, and the baby needs his nose wiped, again.  My thoughts revolve around my family and how I need to meet their needs.  Yet I am sure that if I add these thoughts up, they are no where close to the number of grains of sand on the seashore.  God’s thoughts – of me – cannot be numbered.  They are precious, and they are thinking up good plans.

I have sometimes prayed Jer. 29:11, not out of faith, but out of duty because it is on my prayer list and I know I should pray it.  But God has answered my prayer.  In bringing me to Psalm 139, He has reinforced that He is working and thinking and planning on my behalf, even when I cannot see it.  I cannot even count His precious thoughts toward me, so I could I ever see and comprehend all that He is doing right now?

I am thankful for the waiting time, because it has allowed me to learn and personalize this truth in a way I wouldn’t have without the struggle and the trial.

Update:  The Lord brought this to me on a Wednesday morning when I was sick and not feeling well.  I did not want to make the two hour trek into NYC for church, especially because I felt the Lord wanted me to share this in testimony time.  We did go, and I did share, in obedience to Him.  I think He used it in the lives of others too.  The next morning, we received word that our short sale had been approved and we were moving forward into closing…

Confessions of a Selfish Mom

Last week and already this week have been very challenging for me in my mothering journey. I knew that having four kids ages 3 and under wouldn’t be a party everyday. But the twins have been so easy and good that I think I deceived myself again into saying “I can do this.” Nolan has lived to prove me wrong, and Elaine is helping him. I’m trying to remember that God is pressing me into a place where I can’t do this, in order that I might lean on Him completely.

Today, as my kids sit in yet another time out, I sat on the couch and cried. Cried because all I wanted was a few moments of quiet time with my Bible. Cried because I am weary of fighting this battle. Cried because I feel like we can never go on deputation with children like these. Cried because Ben wasn’t able to talk to me on the phone right now. And then I opened my Facebook account, and there was this post on Beyond Bath Time –

Confessions of a selfish mom:

Some days I'm keenly aware of my self-centeredness. I like to wake up and have my home revolve around my needs. My need for sleep. My need for my coffee. My need for my space. My need for my children to behave like I want them to. My need for my husband to respond to me the way that makes me comfortable.

But God's truth confronts these "needs" and brings them to proper perspective. These are self-centered wants, demands, expectations. I create an idol out of my comfort. This pushes God to the side. It shows my tiny view of the cross.

Jesus came to serve others. He came to lay down His life for others. As daughters of the Most High King, this is our role. To lay aside wants and demands and to serve. To realize what we really deserve is hell, eternity separated from God. What He's given us is grace and He imparted His righteousness to us.

I must preach the gospel to myself daily. To view myself through the cross. To seek to live the gospel to my family. To purge selfishness from my heart through the power given to us through the Holy Spirit.

All for His glory!
A Selfish Mom clinging to the cross!

I really needed that just now. You would think it is second nature for a mother to love her children.  But sometimes it is such a struggle to express that love the way God wants me to.  I love myself, and my Flesh Woman doesn’t like to be set aside so that I can love someone else.  I now understand why Paul commanded Titus that the older women should teach the younger women to love their husbands and their children.

Titus 2:3-5  The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; 4 That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, 5 To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.

When I love my children like God wants me to love them, when I set aside my own desires and wants, when I let the love of Christ to overflow through my life, then the Word of God is not dishonored.  Only Christ can unselfishly love my little people, and sometimes He chooses to do it through me.  That is amazing.  I want them to see Christ’s love in me today.

A Godly Father

Though we are a few days past Father’s Day, I wanted to share a few thoughts that have been running through my mind.  Each Sunday our Pastor reads a passage of Scripture during the beginning of the service, before he gets to the message.  On Sunday, he read from Colossians 3.  Though it wasn’t the text of his sermon, the verses were applicable to fathers. 

Colossians 3:12-24  Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering;  13 Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye.  14 And above all these things put on charity, which is the bond of perfectness.  15 And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to the which also ye are called in one body; and be ye thankful.  16 Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom; teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord.  17 And whatsoever ye do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God and the Father by him.  19 Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.  21 Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.  23 And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men;  24 Knowing that of the Lord ye shall receive the reward of the inheritance: for ye serve the Lord Christ.

As I have watched my husband interacting with our four children recently, I have felt overwhelmingly blessed that he is striving to be a Biblical father and husband.

A Biblical Father:

• Seeks the things that are above – (verse 1-3).  Realizing that he is seated with Christ, he lives and enjoys all of the benefits of the Christ life while walking here on earth.
• Lives the attributes of Christ in his daily life – holiness, mercy, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering.  My husband is far more patient with our children than I am, showing them mercy while being consistent in discipline.
• Lets peace rule his heart – not at strife or quarrel with others; at peace knowing that whatever God has allowed is God’s will for his life right now.  Sometimes I feel so overwhelmed and I say “I can’t handle this.”  Ben always responds by reminding me that I can handle it because God has allowed it.  “In acceptance lieth peace”, and when we accept this as God’s will for us for now, His peace rules in the heart.
• Dwells in the Word of God – makes that quiet time a priority.  With four little children in the house, its hard to find a consistent time of peace and quiet.  But the Biblical father will always find it, knowing that if he is to lead his family in spiritual things, he must walk in God’s Word.
• Takes care of his wife – sometimes the best thing my husband can do for our children to take care of me.  Many times when I am overwhelmed, stressed, sick, or just tired and have had a rough day, he sends me out of the house for a while to have some quiet time just to myself.  He takes care of things at home so I can come back re-charged to fulfill my duties in the home.  Though I know he loves me all the time, at these times when he shows extra care for me, I feel especially loved.
• Lovingly disciplines, without provoking to anger – with consistency and in the Biblical manner, the Godly father will discipline his children as he molds their character according to God’s Word.  Our children are learning from their Daddy to be polite, use manners, exhibit kindness and sharing, and obey.  Sometimes its hard to discipline them over and over again for the same thing, but the Biblical Father does it because he takes his responsibility seriously.  He also recognizes that it will serve them well in the future.
• Leads the home in spiritual things – it’s exciting to me to see my husband teach our children about the things of God.  Elaine was wearing a shirt that said “Praise the Lord.”  Daddy took the opportunity to teach her what praise means, and then he reinforced it several times throughout the day.  Both of my older children are starting to pray on their own, without promptings, and to understand some things in family devotions. 
  
  Ben also tries to make sure I get some moments for quiet time with the Lord even when things seem to be spinning out of control at home.  And many times I get a call or a text at random points through the day to tell me he is praying for me…especially when my day is difficult.  He may not be here to assist me with an extra set of hands as I care for the kiddos, but he has done something far more helpful in bringing me before the Heavenly Father in prayer.

I’m thankful for the husband God gave me, and the father that he is to our children.  They have a special Daddy, for sure, and one day they will realize just how blessed they are!

Encouragement for Moms

I have been very weary in my role as mommy lately.  I get tired of wiping bums, cleaning toys, and mediating fights.  The whining seems to drive me insane.  When I have had a few minutes to sit at my computer, I have found encouragement through several blogs.  Each day, the author of the blog I chose to read seemed to speak to exactly what I was feeling or struggling with.  So I thought I would share them with you.

• The Growing Pains of Motherhood, by The Gypsy Mama
• Stop Waiting! by Beyond Bath Time
• The Comfort of God’s Providence in Parenting, by This Journey Our Life
• Help!  I’m a New Mom, by Kim Wagner (at Beyond Bath Time)
• Motherhood, and Being There for Each Other, by Keeping Life Creative
• Forgiveness for Moms who Fail, by Beyond Bath Time
• On Comparing Yourself, by (in)courage
• Running on Air, by Keeping Life Creative
• When You’re Struggling, by Sacred Mundane

Maybe these will encourage you as well!

“And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not.”
Galatians 6:9

Feb. 19, 2010 Devotions

Mark 3:35 - 4:1 For whosoever shall do the will of God, the same is my brother, and my sister, and mother. 

What a privilege to be related to the God of the universe – the self-existing One!  I am His child by adoption, I am the sister of Christ by His blood, and I am in His family if I do the Will of God.

Mark 4:20-25  And these are they which are sown on good ground; such as hear the word, and receive it, and bring forth fruit, some thirtyfold, some sixty, and some an hundred.  21 And he said unto them, Is a candle brought to be put under a bushel, or under a bed? and not to be set on a candlestick?  22 For there is nothing hid, which shall not be manifested; neither was any thing kept secret, but that it should come abroad.  23 If any man have ears to hear, let him hear.  24 And he said unto them, Take heed what ye hear: with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you: and unto you that hear shall more be given.  25 For he that hath, to him shall be given: and he that hath not, from him shall be taken even that which he hath.

I want to be that good ground upon which the Word of God can fall, and bring forth fruit.  I know that this parable speaks of salvation by the Word, but there is application to a saved person hearing the Word.  Oh Lord – what kind of ground am I?  Am I in the hand of Satan, allowing him to pluck the Word out of my heart?  Am I easily offended and weak so that I can not endure tribulation?  Am I allowing worldly affections to choke your Word?  I want it to fall on supple soil ready for planting that will yield fruit an hundred fold.

Feb. 18, 2010 Devotions

Mark 3:25 “…if a house be divided against itself, that house cannot stand.”  It is vital for my children and my ministry that I be united and one with Ben.  Our home will not last if I am working against him.

Feb. 2, 2010 Devotions

Just to clarify, I am on the One Year Bible reading schedule.  I am reading the OT & NT daily, in addition to BSF.  I will figure out Psalms and Proverbs later.

 

Exodus 16:32 – the Lord commanded to keep a pot of manna to show to future generations so that they would know what He had done for His people.  I need to show my children what the Lord has done for our family.

God will always provide for His children.  A tree made the waters sweet.  Moses’ rod brought water from the rock.  Manna fell to the earth daily.  Why take ye thought for the morrow?  Seek ye first the kingdom of God, and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you.

Matthew 22:31-32 “… have ye not read that which was spoken unto you by God, saying,  32 I am the God of Abraham, and the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob? God is not the God of the dead, but of the living.”  Praise the Lord that He has made me alive in Christ!