Lessons from a Little Girl

Last week was busy.  We had Vacation Bible School at our church.  We were gone…late…every night.  We were busy and up early each day.  My kids were tired, and so was I.  We had some grumpy, selfish moments and quite a few discipline issues that had to be dealt with.  And in the middle of it all, my little girl taught me a lesson.

We are teaching Elaine this definition of sin: “Sin anything I think, say, or do that makes Jesus sad.”  One morning she had been particularly resistant to obeying me.  Long after the discipline was done and the hugs were given, she burst out with a question.

“Him sad, Mommy?”
“Is who sad?”
“Jesus.”
“Why is Jesus sad?”
“Because I a bery bad girl.”
“Yes.  It makes Jesus sad when we disobey, doesn’t it?”

She was still considering what her actions had done to Jesus.  They made Him sad.  Disappointed.  And then I realized that sometimes when I am resisting the Lord’s work in my own life, I don’t consider what my delay or my disobedience is doing to Him.  I am only thinking about myself.  But, Lord, I can’t handle this.  Or, Lord, I don’t want to do that.  The good news is this – once I get it right, and ask for His forgiveness, He has promised to forgive me (1 John 1:9).  He even goes so far as to remove my sin – as far as the east is from the west (Psalm 103:12).  He doesn’t bring it up again, or throw it back in my face the next time I sin.  He wipes the slate clean and gives me a new start.

The very next day we again had obedience issues.  This time it was both of my kids.  I didn’t respond properly, and I lost my cool with them.  Though I had confessed my wrong to my kids, Elaine wanted to be sure I had “made up” with Jesus too.  We were praying together, and she was telling Jesus that she was sorry for her sin.  When we said “amen” she looked up at me and said, “We need pray and tell Jesus you a bad girl too, Mommy.”

I was again pricked in my heart.  She was tender.  She wanted the slate clean – for all of us.  She sinned.  I sinned.  Now let’s make it right and move on.  But so many times when I sin against the Lord I don’t want to humble myself and make things right.  I don’t want to admit that I was wrong.  So I continue in my sin and stubbornness.  I want to be tender to the Lord – so that at the first hint of sin, I make confession and restore the relationship.  So that there is never a break in our fellowship.

Kids don’t miss much, do they?  They see my hypocrisies and imperfections.  They see the real me – as I am – everyday…at home.  But they are tender too.  A prayer, an apology, a hug and everything is restored.  They accept me back again and go on as if nothing happened.

I’m thankful for my little girl’s tenderness, her bluntness, and her forgiveness.  But even more I’m thankful that God is infinitely tender as He constantly draws us closer to Himself.  I’m so amazed that He continuously picks me up when I fall, He forgives, He restores.  And I want to have that sensitivity too, so that I am always right with Him.

Hard Lessons to Learn

I wanted to write this post for my Thankful Thursday post last week (on my personal blog), but I didn’t get it done.  I don’t think I was ready to be able to express everything I’ve been thinking about lately.  Now that I’ve had a few more days to think about them, maybe I can adequately share what I’ve been learning.

You probably know that I like cloth diapers.  And…I had a retail store called Doable Diapers.  But it hasn’t been making money, and we came to a point last month where we wondered if we should keep it open.  I had hoped it would grow and be profitable enough so that Ben would not have to work a full time job when we are church planting.  I put out my fleece prayer request, and God chose not to answer it.  I asked my family members and close friends to pray with me about wisdom for the right decision.  Last Tuesday, we decided to close Doable Diapers. 

I feel like things are being stripped away from me one by one.  I know God is working on me and teaching me, and that these are good lessons to learn.  Good to learn now, before we are in full-time ministry.  But they are hard lessons too.  They hurt my pride and self-sufficiency.  They make me weak, and that is when I can fully experience the strength and power of God.

I thought we were doing pretty good on this parenting thing.  Our kids seemed pretty well behaved.  Then Elaine burst into the “terrible twos” stage with a vengeance.  She challenges me on everything, and throws these horrible fits, mostly in public.  Any pride I had in my parenting ability is being stripped away.  Though I know it intellectually, I am learning that I can only raise these children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord if it is the Lord who is giving me wisdom and strength to do so.

I thought I was a pretty good Christian.  Doing the right things, saying the right things, living the right way.  Then I come face to face with reality that my prayer life is struggling, and my relationship with the Lord needs some repair.  It’s humbling to admit you haven’t been completely genuine.  But now I feel like my cup is overflowing every time I open my Bible, and I know this has been a good lesson to learn…again.

I thought I would help supplement the family income and provide a way for my husband to spend more time in ministry and less time at work.  Then my business failed.  And as I look back over the months of sporadic work and unemployment, I realize that it is God who provided our needs and upheld us…not Andrea.  And now with no Doable Diapers, it is God who will continue to be the provider for us now, and in church-planting ministry.

I thought I had a good relationship with everyone.  Then things blew up with my neighbor.  And I had to admit some areas where I had been just as wrong as inconsiderate as perhaps she had.  And that was humbling.  And I didn’t want to do it, but I realized that it is necessary.

One by one God is removing my props.  Everything that was Andrea.  Everything that I thought was good.  But He is replacing them with something so much better.  He is filling me with more of Himself, and that satisfies so much more than anything I could come up with. 

This has been a hard month.  Several really hard days.  Things seemed dark.  But He is giving me the treasures of darkness.

“And I will give thee the treasures of darkness, and hidden riches of secret places,
that thou mayest know that I, the LORD,
which call thee by thy name,
am the God of Israel.”
Isaiah 45:3 

Lessons from the Sun

I use cloth diapers, and I like to hang them out on the clothesline to dry.  The sun’s rays are a natural way to kill bacteria, and bleach out any stains that there may be.  Recently, I was hanging the diapers out on the line and Elaine (2 years old) was “helping” me.  To answer her questions, I tried to make things as simple as possible.

“We put the diapers outside so the sun can make them all clean and white.”  That answer was good enough for Elaine!  As she repeated the words I had just said (she always repeats what we say), I was reminded of a simple but profound truth.  Something I already knew before.  Something I need to practice on a daily basis.

Just as the sun bleaches my diapers, killing the bad bacteria, and leaving them sparkling white, so the Son of God washes my heart.  He forgives and removes the sin, making me white as snow.

1 John 1:7-9  But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth us from all sin.  8 If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us.  9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

Psalm 51:7  Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean: wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.

I must come to the Son and let Him cleanse me and wash me from my sin.  I must do it every time I sin.  If I am to be a vessel fit for the Master’s use, I must be clean and sin-free.

2 Timothy 2:20-21  But in a great house there are not only vessels of gold and of silver, but also of wood and of earth; and some to honour, and some to dishonour.  21 If a man therefore purge himself from these, he shall be a vessel unto honour, sanctified, and meet for the master's use, and prepared unto every good work.

Jeremiah 6–No Blush

In this chapter the Lord continues to use Jeremiah to pronounce judgment on Israel by the coming destruction of Jerusalem.  The Lord gave His people so many chances to repent, to confess, to turn from their sin.  If they would have returned to Him, He would have foregone the judgment.  But they would not hearken.

How many times in my own life has He pointed out a particular sin or an area that I need to surrender?  And yet I continue to choose my own way.  I do not hearken, I will not forsake my sin.  Surely judgment is coming.

Jeremiah 6:10  To whom shall I speak, and give warning, that they may hear? behold, their ear is uncircumcised, and they cannot hearken: behold, the word of the LORD is unto them a reproach; they have no delight in it.

Vs. 11 – The Lord is weary of waiting and holding in His judgment.  Am I causing Him to be weary, or to rejoice?  I sometimes feel so weary of dealing with Elaine.  She will disobey on the same issue over, and over, and over again.  I just get so tired of instructing, of repeating myself, of administering discipline.  Is this the way I am causing the Lord to feel?

Jeremiah 6:14  They have healed also the hurt of the daughter of my people slightly, saying, Peace, peace; when there is no peace.

The people had a false sense of security, and believed that in spite of their rebellion there was peace.  There is no peace apart from the Lord and living in a right relationship with Him – Is. 26:3-4

Jeremiah 6:15  Were they ashamed when they had committed abomination? nay, they were not at all ashamed, neither could they blush: therefore they shall fall among them that fall: at the time that I visit them they shall be cast down, saith the LORD.

The people couldn’t even blush over their sin any more – they saw nothing shameful in their lifestyle.  It had become that much of a habit.  What about me?  I hardly blink an eye at the first curse word in a movie.  If there is cursing every other word, then we turn it off and I feel ashamed.  Should not I respond the same way to the first wrong word?  Whether small or great, it is all sin to God.

Jeremiah 6:16   Thus saith the LORD, Stand ye in the ways, and see, and ask for the old paths, where is the good way, and walk therein, and ye shall find rest for your souls. But they said, We will not walk therein.

The remedy is to seek the old paths.  Return to the former lifestyle, return to the Lord.  Find the good way and walk in it.  Do not respond as did Israel, “We will not walk therein.”  Such a sad statement – to hear the Lord’s call to repentance and a better life, and to refuse Him.

Jeremiah 6:17  Also I set watchmen over you, saying, Hearken to the sound of the trumpet. But they said, We will not hearken.

The Lord even gave them watchmen – like Jeremiah – who told the people of coming destruction.  Yet they continued in sin.

Jeremiah 6:19-20  Hear, O earth: behold, I will bring evil upon this people, even the fruit of their thoughts, because they have not hearkened unto my words, nor to my law, but rejected it.  20 To what purpose cometh there to me incense from Sheba, and the sweet cane from a far country? your burnt offerings are not acceptable, nor your sacrifices sweet unto me.

The result is that the religious “routines” of the people had no meaning to the Lord.  He wants the heart, not outward conformity.  He wants obedience, not sacrifices.  Is my “incense” sweet to the Lord and acceptable in His sight?  Or is my lifestyle stinking and putrid to Him because He sees my real motives and my heart?  If I continue in my sin I will reap the fruit of my thoughts and of my rejection of the Lord.

Jeremiah 6:29-30  The bellows are burned, the lead is consumed of the fire; the founder melteth in vain: for the wicked are not plucked away.  30 Reprobate silver shall men call them, because the LORD hath rejected them.

I want to be pure silver, having the dross removed.  I do not want to come to the end of my life and realize that it was all reprobate and fake.  Am I living a genuine Christian  - “Christlike” – life before the world?

Proverbs 5:21   For the ways of man are before the eyes of the LORD, and he pondereth all his goings.

Feb. 26, 2010 Devotions

Today is my 28 month wedding anniversary.  I said it to Ben first…winning for the first time in a while.

Mark 7:6-9  He answered and said unto them, Well hath Esaias prophesied of you hypocrites, as it is written, This people honoureth me with their lips, but their heart is far from me.  7 Howbeit in vain do they worship me, teaching for doctrines the commandments of men.  8 For laying aside the commandment of God, ye hold the tradition of men, as the washing of pots and cups: and many other such like things ye do.  9 And he said unto them, Full well ye reject the commandment of God, that ye may keep your own tradition.

The Lord is using this to point some sin in my life.  I just prayed and asked Him to this morning.  In many areas I am a hypocrite, honoring God with my lips but my heart is far from Him.  In so many things I give lip service, yet my heart is not right.  Specifically He has been working on me lately regarding my attitude toward the brethren.  I go to church with an unloving spirit,  a complaining heart, a critical attitude.  Even if I don’t agree with every practice, method, sermon, song, etc. I can go and show love for my brothers and sisters in Christ.  They may not be perfect.  They may say things that hurt me, or do things that alarm me or shock me or hurt me.  But I must forgive, and I must love.

It reminds me of a quote by Charles Spurgeon that I used to have on my refrigerator (perhaps I should put it up again):

“He who grows in grace remembers that he is but dust, and he therefore does not expect his fellow Christians to be anything more. He overlooks ten thousand of their faults, because he knows his God overlooks twenty thousand in his own case. He does not expect perfection in the creature, and, therefore, he is not disappointed when he does not find it.” ~Charles Spurgeon

I have also been feeling convicted about honesty.  I am prone to exaggeration, which some excuse as easily as a “little white lie.”  (I wonder do we call it white because we do not consider it to be sin, and therefore black?)  I was upset when Dad told me to leave the purchase price of the car blank so that the new buyer could decide how much they want to pay taxes on.  But yet I don’t want to claim the income from selling the car on my taxes.  That is hypocritical.  I need to be honest and upright in every area of my life.

Feb. 19, 2010 Devotions

Mark 3:35 - 4:1 For whosoever shall do the will of God, the same is my brother, and my sister, and mother. 

What a privilege to be related to the God of the universe – the self-existing One!  I am His child by adoption, I am the sister of Christ by His blood, and I am in His family if I do the Will of God.

Mark 4:20-25  And these are they which are sown on good ground; such as hear the word, and receive it, and bring forth fruit, some thirtyfold, some sixty, and some an hundred.  21 And he said unto them, Is a candle brought to be put under a bushel, or under a bed? and not to be set on a candlestick?  22 For there is nothing hid, which shall not be manifested; neither was any thing kept secret, but that it should come abroad.  23 If any man have ears to hear, let him hear.  24 And he said unto them, Take heed what ye hear: with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you: and unto you that hear shall more be given.  25 For he that hath, to him shall be given: and he that hath not, from him shall be taken even that which he hath.

I want to be that good ground upon which the Word of God can fall, and bring forth fruit.  I know that this parable speaks of salvation by the Word, but there is application to a saved person hearing the Word.  Oh Lord – what kind of ground am I?  Am I in the hand of Satan, allowing him to pluck the Word out of my heart?  Am I easily offended and weak so that I can not endure tribulation?  Am I allowing worldly affections to choke your Word?  I want it to fall on supple soil ready for planting that will yield fruit an hundred fold.

Feb. 15, 2010 Devotions

President’s Day

Mark 1:7  And preached, saying, There cometh one mightier than I after me, the latchet of whose shoes I am not worthy to stoop down and unloose.

John was a humble man and recognized his place in comparison with his Lord.

Mark 1:16-18   Now as he walked by the sea of Galilee, he saw Simon and Andrew his brother casting a net into the sea: for they were fishers.  17 And Jesus said unto them, Come ye after me, and I will make you to become fishers of men.  18 And straightway they forsook their nets, and followed him.

The disciples immediately left their former lives of sin and followed Christ.  What remnant of my former life is still apparent?  Do I have vestiges of the sinful me that I still indulge?  In what areas am I unwilling to forsake all and follow Christ?

Feb. 12, 2010 Devotions

Another double day.  Busy with BSF yesterday.

Exodus 32 – the golden calf

vs. 20 – there are always consequences for sin, even if we repent, and even after God has forgiven us.

Praise the Lord for Moses who acted as an intercessor on behalf of the children of Israel, that God did not destroy them in His anger.  Who am I bringing before the Lord, pleading that He give them another opportunity to turn to Him, or to accept Him?  We see illustrated here the vitality and influence of the intercessor.

Exodus 33:13-17 “ Now therefore, I pray thee, if I have found grace in thy sight, shew me now thy way, that I may know thee, that I may find grace in thy sight: and consider that this nation is thy people.  14 And he said, My presence shall go with thee, and I will give thee rest.  15 And he said unto him, If thy presence go not with me, carry us not up hence.  16 For wherein shall it be known here that I and thy people have found grace in thy sight? is it not in that thou goest with us? so shall we be separated, I and thy people, from all the people that are upon the face of the earth.  17 And the LORD said unto Moses, I will do this thing also that thou hast spoken: for thou hast found grace in my sight, and I know thee by name.”

What a precious promise regarding the presence of the Lord!

Exodus 34:6-7 “And the LORD passed by before him, and proclaimed, The LORD, The LORD God, merciful and gracious, longsuffering, and abundant in goodness and truth,  7 Keeping mercy for thousands, forgiving iniquity and transgression and sin, and that will by no means clear the guilty; visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children, and upon the children's children, unto the third and to the fourth generation.”

What a description of the Lord I serve!