Lavish Grace

I came across this quote from Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth recently.  It struck me because often I forget that I am the recipient of God’s grace, and I do not deserve it.  When I forget how much I needed God’s grace, I think of myself in lofty terms and often treat others as not-as-good-as-me.  The truth is, we all need God’s grace, and when we get it, it is always undeserved.  I needed a reminder to live in the reality of His grace!

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Help

Today I was reading an adoration passage in Psalm 60.  Verses 11-12 say,

Give us help from trouble: for vain is the help of man.
Through God we shall do valiantly: for He it is that shall  tread down our enemies.

I was struck with this thought…

Sometimes my enemies aren’t physical people.  Sometimes my enemy is doubt, or fear, or worry.  Sometimes my enemy is stress, or emotions out of control.  Sometimes my enemy seems like five little kiddos all demanding a piece of me at the same time (but that’s really just stress, right?)  So the question that struck me today is, where do I turn for help?  Too often I ask my husband to help, or I turn to my own creativity to solve a problem.  Start a movie for the kids.  Sit down and breathe.  Make a to-do list.  Sometimes I yell and lose control of the situation.  But vain is the help of man. 

What I really need when all of the situations hit me in the face is to turn to God for help.  When I am drowning in doubt, or guilt, or out-of-control emotions, I don’t just need another set of hands, or a fresh look at the situation – I need God.  I need to turn to Him FIRST.  I need to realize that any victory will only be through His strength.

When I shout, “HELP!” it needs to be to God first.  Sometimes He may use the help of man (or my husband, or my friend, or my kids) to help me.  But I need to turn to Him first.

God has Joy

One of my favorite passages from my study on joy was Zephaniah 3.  I actually worked through the whole book, but the good stuff is in chapter 3.  This book is God’s promise that judgement is coming on Judah, as well as the nations.  “Zephaniah” means God hides.  Chapter 3 reminds us that there is always a remnant of God’s people.  The ones who have been faithful and have not compromised or drifted away from the Lord.  As I thought about the man God used to deliver this message, and the meaning of his name, I was reminded that there are always servants of God, though sometimes they seem hidden away.  And I thought about how God is able to hide us from the trouble and the judgement, if we have been faithful.

This book opens with a declaration of man’s apathy in chapter 1 verse 12.  Basically the people were saying “God is not involved in the affairs of men.”  Yet God says, “I am in your midst” in chapter 3, verses 5, 15, 17.  This is comforting to me when I go through difficult times – God is right there with me in the midst of it all. 

Chapter 3 is really full of amazing truths.  I know that it is written to Israel, but we can draw principles from the truth of this passage.  When God brings back the remnant (when He restores them – sometimes our sin drives us away from God but He can restore us again), they will sing & shout (3:14), they will be glad and rejoice (3:14), they will realize that the Lord is in the midst of them (3:15), they will not fear (3:16), and they will be diligent (3:16).

Here are some things I see about the Lord in this chapter:

• He is in my midst v.17
• He will rejoice over me v.17
• He will save v.17
• He will rest in His love v.17
• He will joy over me with singing v.17
• He will gather us together v.18
• He will undo the affliction v.18
• He will save v.19
• He will get praise and fame for those who were afflicted and driven away v.19
• He will bring us again (restore) v.20
• He will make us a name (restore) v.20

These promises are so precious.  I can choose to live in disobedience and suffer judgment; or I can choose to be faithful and wait for the Lord to bring His plan to pass (3:8).  I can continue to trust in the Lord (3:12), I can leave my “enemies” to the Lord to deal with (3:15).  I can continue to work for the Lord even when the future seems unknown (3:16).  And then – the promises of verse 17!  He is with me, and He will save me, and when I am faithful even in these difficult or trying times, He will rejoice over me.  I can bring joy to my God.  His love for me will be seen and the fruit of it reaped whe  I return His love in faithful living.  Not only does He give me joy (3:14), but I can bring joy to Him through my life!

The Lord is my Rock

Photo from Moab, UT

Sometimes life overwhelms me and I feel like I’m sinking.  Sometimes I’m sinking in laundry and dishes; other times it is in self-pity or guilt.  I can never pull myself out of that desperate place on my own.  I have to remember that the Lord is my rock.  He is a firm foundation, even when I feel like life is ever-shifting around me.  He never changes, even my kids’ schedules and my emotions are on a roller coaster.  He is my defense from those darts of guilt and shame and condemnation that the enemy flings my way. 

When I was in Moab, UT and I saw this rock, Psalm 18:2 came to my mind. Psalm 28:7  came to mind also.  It says, “The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusted in Him, and I am helped: therefore my heart greatly rejoiceth; and with my song will I praise Him.”  When I go back to the fortress, my heart is helped.  When I put my trust back where it belongs, I find rejoicing and my song returns.

Philippians 4–Contentment

I have been struggling recently – with the waiting for the next step in ministry, with the exhaustion from the current stage of life, with the inconsistency of deputation life, and more.  I know that at the root of many of my up and down feelings is a discontent with where God has me right now.  I want to be content, but I still hear the lies of the enemy in my ears and often my emotions follow. 

As I did a brief word search on the word content I came to Philippians 4, and Paul’s classic declaration on the subject – “I have learned in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content.”  I decided to read the entire passage and look at some cross-references too. 

This is what God brought to me. I love how He drops us to the place in His Word which is exactly what we need for the moment.  He is the Master of bringing just the right word, email, verse, encouraging text, reminder, and more to encourage my weary heart!

-- Stand fast in the Lord, Phil. 4:1  Don’t give up yet!

-- Rejoice in the Lord, alway…, v.4  There is always something to be thankful for.  Rejoice in Who God is, and what He has already done.

-- Don’t worry about anything, v.6 – the future, the rest of the day, the “what if’s” which are piling up in your mind.

-- In everything, by prayer and suppication, let your requests be made known unto God, v.6 – take it to God.  Not Hubby.  Not Mom.  Not BFF.  Take it to God.  Tell it to Him.

-- Pray with thanksgiving, v.6 – There is always something to be thankful for!  Even this house, the waiting, the seemingly slow responses to prayer, the difficult kids, the tiredness.

-- God’s peace will wrap itself around your heart and mind, v.7 – He will bring peace, even in the midst of the storm.

-- Whatsoever things are true…think on these things, v.8 – Feed yourself truth.  Don’t believe the lies.  Don’t sit there and sulk in the lies of the Enemy.  Tell your hear the truth, and think on it!

-- Be content, no matter where you are, v.11 – No matter what!

-- I can do all things through Christ, 13 – But only in Christ.  Not in self.  Not in mostly Christ and some of self.  Only in Christ.

-- God shall supply all your needs, v.19 – A house.  The energy.  Emotional strength.  Patience.  Finances.  ALL YOUR NEEDS.

-- Unto God be the glory, v.20.

It was interesting to me to search on the word content in v.11.  Did you know that the root of this Greek word is the same word which appears as “sufficient” in the verse below?

“And He said unto me, My grace is SUFFICIENT for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness.  Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.”  2 Cor. 12:9

Be content, because His grace is enough.  It is sufficient for whatever I need, in whatever situation, at whatever time.  And because I have His grace, I can be content with whatever situation, at whatever time.

Synergy

A little more from Romans 8:28…

The words work together mean to “work together, help in work, be partner in labour. To put forth power together with and thereby to assist.”

Some other instances of this Greek word in the NT:

• Mark 16:20 – they went forth preaching everywhere as the Lord was working with them.
• 1Cor.16:16 – Submit yourselves and to everyone that helps with us.
• 2Cor.6:1 – we are workers together with Christ.
• James 2:22 – faith works with works and works makes faith perfect.

The root of this Greek word is transliterated into English as synergy, meaning “a companion in work, a fellow worker.”  The definition of synergy is “the interaction or cooperation of two or more organizations, substances, or other agents to produce a combined effect greater than the sum of their separate effects.”

Therefore we could read this verse, “All things synergize for good.” Everything works together in cooperation with God’s wondrous plan in order to produce a combined effect greater than their separate effects. He is able to bring all of these separate circumstances, events, people, life changes, etc. together to work something far greater than any one of the things alone could work. Only God can do that.

I don’t always see the “synergy” of God’s hand at work in my life right at this moment.  I feel the effects of the current goings-on and get discouraged. But God knows how that is going to work with the past and with what is right around the corner. He brings it all into cooperation as only He can, and just as in creation, the outcome is “good.” In Genesis 1 God saw all that He had made and it was very good. In the same way He is creating circumstances and things in my life to bring about the same wondrous result – good – in my life.

The author of the Bible Study I am working through is Pam Forster.  She summed up the “synergy” of God’s plan in these words:

We may not be able to see good in a particular trial. By itself, there may not be anything we would call good in it, and if it continued indefinitely, with no other demonstrations of God’s grace to temper it, it might be our ruin. But, mixed with all that we experience, all that God allows into our lives, all the different trials and blessings and people — all of these work together to “have a greater total effect than the sum of their individual effects”.

Often times we can look back and with 20/20 hindsight see how God put everything together to produce that total effect of good.  

Help Me

I was struggling through a difficult day yesterday and my husband gave me the words of Psalm 143 to chew on.  They didn’t impact me as much yesterday as they did when I just reread them this morning. 

[A Psalm of David.]] Hear my prayer, O LORD, give ear to my supplications: in thy faithfulness answer me, and in thy righteousness. 2 And enter not into judgment with thy servant: for in thy sight shall no man living be justified. 3 For the enemy hath persecuted my soul; he hath smitten my life down to the ground; he hath made me to dwell in darkness, as those that have been long dead. 4 Therefore is my spirit overwhelmed within me; my heart within me is desolate.  5 I remember the days of old; I meditate on all thy works; I muse on the work of thy hands.  6 I stretch forth my hands unto thee: my soul thirsteth after thee, as a thirsty land. Selah.  7 Hear me speedily, O LORD: my spirit faileth: hide not thy face from me, lest I be like unto them that go down into the pit.  8 Cause me to hear thy lovingkindness in the morning; for in thee do I trust: cause me to know the way wherein I should walk; for I lift up my soul unto thee.  9 Deliver me, O LORD, from mine enemies: I flee unto thee to hide me.  10 Teach me to do thy will; for thou art my God: thy spirit is good; lead me into the land of uprightness.  11 Quicken me, O LORD, for thy name's sake: for thy righteousness' sake bring my soul out of trouble.  12 And of thy mercy cut off mine enemies, and destroy all them that afflict my soul: for I am thy servant.

So many times my spirit feels overwhelmed and the enemy beats me down with doubts and fears and guilt.  He reminds me of my insufficiencies and shortcomings,  and makes me feel worthless.  When I come to the Lord, I don’t want someone else pointing the finger at me and bringing judgment (v.2), because I already feel the weight of my sin and guilt.  I come to the Lord for help, knowing that He has already promised to forgive those shortcomings (1 John 1:9). 

Verses 3-4 give such an accurate description of how I felt yesterday.  Defeated.  Beaten into the ground.  Persecuted.  Alone in darkness, with no way out.  Desolate.

But what is the solution?  Verses 5 – remembering everything God has done in the past.  Meditating on His works.  Recalling the works of His hands.  What has God done that would encourage me in times like this?

• He created me.  He knows me intimately and He knows my weaknesses
• He died, for me.  He sent His beloved Son Jesus to take my place, even though the sin was my fault, and my choice.  Even though it was sin that brought me to such a low-point in my life.  Repeated sin.  Something I struggle with often.  But He forgives it – over and over again.
• He has worked in my life in specific ways to bring me to the point where I am today.  I am the wife of a man called to be a pastor.  I am part of a missionary team preparing to plant a church in New York City.  I am on deputation.  I have five small children.  I am a homeschooling mom.  There were parts of each of those life callings yesterday that were combining to make me feel out of place, crazy, and defeated.  But each of those roles that I have are the works of God.  Each one was by His design.  So He knows that the combination may sometimes be hard (and even crazy), but He is there.
• He has provided for me in specific ways, repeatedly.  I was able to graduate from five years of college debt free.  He has provided for us on an ongoing basis to enable us to live in New York City.  He has met every single need, and more, as we have traveled around the country living out of our van on deputation.  Just last week He provided for our brakes to get fixed, without a hiccup or hang-up of any kind.  The works of God’s hands are marvelous.
• He allowed me to grow up in a Christian home.  He gave me a husband and godly in-laws.  He has drawn our oldest daughter to salvation.
• I have been privileged to sit under the teaching and preaching of some of the most amazing servants of the Lord at Ambassador Baptist College.
• I grew up in a wonderful church that emphasized to me the necessity of giving my life to serve God however He would have it.  I was blessed to have many missionaries stay in my home and influence me as a teenager.  I have been able to spend the last five years marinating in the teaching of my pastor in Brooklyn.
• He has gifted me with friends who regularly encourage me in my walk with God, raising my children for the Lord, and my life on deputation and in ministry.

The next step is to thirst after the Lord.  Yesterday, when I felt my life was falling apart around me (just a feeling, but a strong one at the time!), I really just wanted to spend time with the Lord.  I wanted Him to lift me up.  I realized that I begun my day without Him, and thus immediately jumped on the roller coaster ride that dumped me where it did.  I stretched out my hands to the Lord, and I said, “Help!”  My soul was thirsting for the Lord to do something amazing in me that I knew I could not do. 

I didn’t have the patience for my children.

I didn’t know what to do for homeschooling

I didn’t have enough arms to meet everyone’s needs.

But God did.

The rest of this chapter is just like balm on my raw soul.  Today my future looks brighter.  Yesterday I saw only darkness and despair.  This morning His Word is soothing my soul and giving me hope, just as verse 8 says.  “Cause me to hear thy lovingkindness in the morning; for in thee do I trust: cause me to know the way wherein I should walk; for I lift up my soul unto thee.”  Things always look better in the morning, but better doesn’t describe it when we have the Lord.  His lovingkindnesses reach down and give me just the Scriptures I need.  He takes the broken pieces of my soul that I stretch out to Him and He mends it.  He directs my steps.  He clears my eyes, and He reveals His tender love.  That’s an amazing God!

In troubling times, we can flee to the Lord (v.9)

He teaches us what His will is for our lives.  If I am doing His will, then I don’t need to feel the weight, pressure, and guilt of all that I am not doing.  These are the things which the enemy constantly brings to my mind and piles on my shoulders.  But the Lord gives strength for me to do His will.  Then, when it is done, I can say with Him in John 17:4, “I have finished the work which thou gavest me to do.”

The Lord quickens us, and brings us out of trouble (v.11)

He will eventually cut off the enemy and destroy the one who afflicts my soul (v.12).

I am the servant of the Lord.  Sometimes I forget this truth.  I try to be the master in my life.  But I am just a servant.  He is in control.  He is behind all the circumstances, weaving a beautiful story and picture so that all around me can see His power and gory.  Even if the only ones around me are my family members, He reveals His power.  They need to see it too.  My kids need to see God at work in Mommy’s life. 

I sat down this morning and prepared to do the next lesson in my Bible study in Romans 8.  But as I opened my Bible app, I noticed it was still on Psalm 143, and so I reread it.  When I turned to the lesson for today, I found that the title was “All Things” and I would be digging into Romans 8:28.  How appropriate that the Lord would teach me about “all things” following a day when I felt “all things” against me for evil.

“And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.”  Romans 8:28

Therefore…walk worthy

In my current Busy Mamas Bible Study I had to go through the book of Ephesians.  In chapters 1-3 I highlighted everything that God has done for me.  This was very eye-opening to see so clearly what God has done for me.  Sometimes, a girl who was raised in a Christian home, and never committed any “major” sins, I take for granted exactly what God did when He reached out and saved my soul.  Ephesians 4:1 opens with the words, “Therefore…walk worthy of the vocation wherewith ye are called.”  The next three chapters list command after command – each of which we are to do because of what God has done for us (chapters 1-3).  It is a “reasonable” service to do these things in response to everything that Christ did for us in salvation!

• 1. 3 – Blessed us with all spiritual blessings
• 1. 4 chosen us in Him before the foundation of the world
• 1.5 predestinated us to the adoption of children
• 1.6 made us accepted in the beloved
• 1.7 redeemed us through His blood
• 1.7 forgiven our sins
• 1.8 abounded toward us in all wisdom and prudence
• 1.9 revealed the mystery of His will
• 1.11 given us an inheritance
• 1.13 sealed us with the Spirit of promise
• 2:1 quickened me, when I was dead in sin
• 2:4 loved me with a great love
• 2:5 quickened me together with Christ
• 2:6 raised us up together to sit in heavenly places in Christ Jesus
• 2:10 created me in Christ Jesus unto good works
• 2:10 ordained that I should walk in good works
• 2:13 brought me near by the blood of Christ
• 2:14 broken down the wall of partition
• 2:16 reconciled both Jew and Gentile to God through the cross
• 2:16 slain the enmity

Our responsibility in response to these things…

• 4.1 Walk worthy
• 4.2 Keep the unity
• 4.14 Be no more children [but be mature]
• 4.15 Speak the truth in love
• 4.15 Grow up into Christ
• 4.17 Walk not as other Gentiles
• 4.22 Put off the old man
• 4.23 Renew your mind
• 4.24 Put on the new man
• 4.25 Put away lying and speak truth
• 4.26 Let not the sun go down upon your wrath
• 4.27 Do not give place to the devil
• 4.28 Do not steal, but work with your hands
• 4.29 Do not have corrupt communication
• 4.29 Speak edifying words
• 4.30 Grieve not the Holy Spirit
• 4.31 Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamour, evil speaking, and malice be put away
• 4.32 Be kind
• 4.32 Forgive as Christ forgave
• 5.1 Be followers of God
• 5.2 Walk in love
• 5.3 Let uncleanness, fornication, and covetousness not be named among you even once
• 5.7 Be not partakers with the children of disobedience
• 5.8 Walk as children of light
• 5.10 Prove what is acceptable unto the Lord
• 5.11 Have no fellowship with unfruitful works of darkness
• 5.11 Reprove the works of darkness
• 5.15 Walk circumspectly
• 5.16 Redeem the time
• 5.17 Be not unwise
• 5.17 Understand God’s Will
• 5.18 Be not drunk with wine
• 5.18 Be filled with the Spirit
• 5.19 Speak psalms and hymns to yourselves
• 5.20 Give thanks always for all things
• 5.21 Submit yourselves to one another
• 5.22 Wives submit to your husbands
• 5.25 Husbands love your wives
• 5.28 Husbands love your wives as your own body
• 5.33 Husbands love your wives as yourself
• 5.33 Wives reverence your husbands
• 6.1 Children obey your parents
• 6.2 Children honor your father and mother
• 6.4 Fathers provoke not your children to wrath
• 6.4 Bring up your children in the admonition of the Lord
• 6.5 Servants obey your masters
• 6.7 Do your service as to the Lord and not to men
• 6.10 Be strong in the Lord
• 6.11 Put on the whole armor of God
• 6.13 Take the whole armor of God
• 6.14 Stand therefore [against the devil]
• 6.18 Pray always
• 6.18 Watch with perseverance

So, go – and walk worthy of the vocation wherewith ye are called!

Pouring in the Scriptures

Being a mom of little kids can be exhausting physically – and spiritually.  So many times I come to the end of my day or my week, and to my shame I realize how little time I have spent in prayer or in reading the Word of God.  And the time that I have spent in those activities has been in five minutes here or a whispered quick prayer there.  Rarely is it a large chunk of time that I get to indulge in my devotional time.

But when I am running on empty and feeling dry, that is when I really need to pour the Scriptures into my life and speak the truth to my heart.  If I don’t I will trip and fall into that trap of the enemy – again.  I will make a mess of relationships and situations – again.  I will rely on myself – again.  This is so dangerous because Romans 7:18 says “For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh,) dwelleth no good thing…”

And yet sometimes it is just impossible to carve out that chunk of time.  Many times I can do it if I choose to – if I check Facebook less often, or shorten my nap, or leave the dishes in the sink.  But there are times when I just can’t get up earlier because I’ve been up all night with the baby.  Or I can’t find quiet time because the kids are acting out today. 

The Lord has shown me some creative ways that I can still pour the Scriptures into my heart, and meditate on the truth of God.

• “Decorate” my house with the Word of God.  When a verse or passage really speaks to my heart or to the situation I am facing, I print it out and hang it in a visible place in my home.  I have a cluster of verses on the wall where I will see them first thing in the morning.  All of my kitchen cabinets are covered in verses.  This helps me to see God’s Word many times through the day and be reminded to meditate on it or pray it for my family and friends.
• Listen to sermons.  We don’t have a washing machine, so someone has to spend a couple of hours at the laundry mat each week.  I load up my iPhone with podcasts (Revive Our Hearts with Nancy Leigh DeMoss) and sermons (Ambassador Baptist College Chapel) and I listen as I work.  I play them while I’m in the shower and the kids are busy elsewhere.  I play them in the car when we’re driving.  God always uses the sermon/podcast next in my list to be just what I need at that moment.  This has been so helpful also since I often don’t get to sit through a whole church service without leaving to feed the babies.
• Play Christian music in the home.  Sometimes it is just too much noise, but I try to have background music on as much as possible.  Even just a phrase that I catch as I pass through the room will stick in my head throughout the day and encourage or challenge me.
• Teach my children.  God is using parenting my littles to really refine several areas in my own life.  And so often the song I choose to teach them, or the Bible story we read has one application to them, and a different facet of an application to my own life and situation.  He challenges me, encourages me, and convicts me as I teach my children.  Even just the simple prayers that they offer to God are a challenge to me.  They are so faithful to remember certain people, never forgetting to mention them in prayer.  And often I wish I was that dedicated to prayer for others.

How about you?  How do you keep the Scriptures a priority when time seems short or your season of life is so overwhelming?

The Little Yes

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Abandoning all to Him.  Surrender.  Living with open hands.  Open to whatever God chooses to place into them or take out of them.  It can be a very fearful thing.  Never knowing what God has planned.  And while I made that one “big yes” to God (Romans 12:1) as a teenager, I often struggle to say “yes” moment by moment, day by day.

It’s not the big plans of my life that I have trouble relinquishing.  It’s not who I will marry or where I will live, or what is my career.  Many of those questions have been answered already (at least for now).  It’s the little plans.  Letting Him control the path of my day when I had so many things that I wanted to accomplish. 

It’s the “I wanted to do __________ during naptime but the baby won’t sleep.”

It’s the “I never get time for myself.”

It’s the “Why are all of my kids sick, again?”

It’s the “I’m so tired of changing diapers and washing dishes and wiping up spills.”

In those mundane, everyday tasks and plans which are so necessary to daily life.  That is where I resist.  That is where I hold back.  That is where I try to force my plans instead of opening my hand to God’s agenda for my day. 

That is where I must surrender.

“Then said Jesus unto his disciples, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me.”
Matthew 16:24 

I shall not want

I thought I had learned this lesson.  Many times.  But it keeps coming back.  “I shall not want.”  The Lord is teaching me this in new dimensions.  When I teach this verse to my kids, I ask them a series of questions.

“Who takes care of the sheep?”  Little voices answer with, “The Shepherd.”

“Who is the Shepherd?”  “Jesus.”

“Who is a sheep?”  “Me!”

The Shepherd takes care of the sheep.  His tenderness is pictured well in Isaiah 40:11 -  “He shall feed his flock like a shepherd: he shall gather the lambs with his arm, and carry them in his bosom, and shall gently lead those that are with young.”  He is so tender and loving; patient and kind.  Lifting those who need help.  Walking slowly with the little ones.  Even when it takes me a long time to learn what is He trying to teach me, He is still patient and loving and continues to walk with me.  He continues to prove Himself trustworthy.  He continues to meet my needs, so that I shall not want.

It took me a long time to learn that He provides financially.  Through seasons of no work, or underpaying work.  Through college bills and times of unexpected expenses.  Through bad economy and the needs of four children.  God has always provided what we need, just when we need it.

I used to be pretty stingy.  I can’t print those things for church because I will run out of ink.  Or, I can’t afford the gas to travel there/help that person.  Or, I can’t sign up to bring food for the church fellowship because I don’t enough.  Why did it take me so long to learn that God would supply what I unselfishly gave to others?  And yet many times I still have to remind myself that everything I have isn’t really mine – it came from God.  He provided our van.  He gave us our computer and printer.  He fills our refrigerator.  He gave me clothes for my children.  If I share it with someone else, He will replenish it (and He always gives more in return than I gave away to begin with).

Recently I felt like I had a breakthrough.  When there was no work (and thus no paycheck), I didn’t immediately cry or stress out, panicking about financial obligations.  There was peace that God would supply in the right timing.  And He did.  He has already made up what was lacking.  The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want.

Now He is teaching me that He is my Shepherd in other areas.  Not just financially, but emotionally, and spiritually too.  I have felt a little dry lately.  Probably because I have four kids and my “quiet” times with the Lord are not really very quiet, and they are nearly always very short.  But somehow…providentially…He provides just what I need.  Just a thought or a verse for the day.  A text that someone is praying for me.  An article online that speaks to what I am struggling with.  A compliment or funny moment from my kiddos.

I haven’t sat through an entire church service for a while.  There are two babies who never seem to want to nurse at “the right time.”  But the portions of the service that I do get have been filling me up.  A phrase from a song.  The Scripture reading.  Or just the third point of the sermon.  A teenager’s testimony.  The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want.

When things are hard in Mommy Land and I feel like I just can’t handle it, He is gently reminding me that He is there with me.  His grace is sufficient.  I can handle it.  When I feel like crying, or yelling, or having a nervous breakdown, He reminds me that this is His Will for me.  He tells me He is holding my hand.  He shows me that my kids are “catching” things from my life – is what I am “throwing” worth catching?  I don’t have to lean on another person.  It’s not what my husband can say, or the hug from a friend that gets me through.  It’s my Shepherd.  Gently leading me.  Sometimes carrying me.  The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want.

It’s one of those verses that we learn as a child.  One that many people probably know.  But it’s so profound – so hard to live out.  But so wonderful to experience.

The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want.

Change Your Garment

68 months ago, I married my best friend.  That translates into five years and eight months.  It seems like forever.  And two states, four apartments, three jobs, four kids, and two home businesses later we are still in love!

My devotion book this morning shared the story of a beggar who was invitied to dine with, and then lvie with the king.  He was provided new clothing and sat at the king’s table, yet he carried his old raggedy clothing with him everywhere because he never knew when he would need them.

Of course the spiritual parallel of the story is that we have been given a change of clothing by the King of Kings at salvation.  We have been invited to dine at His table, to live in His palace, and to enjoy all of the benefits of His royalty.  He offers it all to us through Christ.  Yet we cling to our rags of the flesh, carrying around old habits and besetting sins “just in case we ever need them.”  We do not fully realize the change and transformation that has been offered to us.  I fall into this trap too many times – just not quite willing to let completely go of who I was and to fully become who I am in Christ.

As I thought on this fictional tale and its spiritual lesson, I thought of the fact that today is one of our “anniversaries” as a married couple.  My husband and I have a game to see who can remember that it is the 26th of the month, and tell the other person first.  I usually lose, but today I won.  In fact, Ben texted me to say it is a score of about 65 to 3!

Five years and eight months ago I was getting ready to say “I do” and change my life forever.  I was going to change my name, where I lived, and who I lived with.  In preparation for that important, life-changing ceremony, I changed my clothes.  I put on my best dress – a new white garment picked especially for that day. 

When I accepted Christ at salvation, my life changed spiritually – forever.  My home was changed from earth to heaven, and I was seated in heaven with Christ.  I was offered a new “dress” of purity and holiness.  Why is it that spiritually I so often refuse the new garment which has been hand-picked for me by God?  Today I want to live in my new clothes, and leave my rags behind.

Isaiah 61:3  To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the LORD, that he might be glorified.

Zechariah 3:3-4  Now Joshua was clothed with filthy garments, and stood before the angel.  4 And he answered and spake unto those that stood before him, saying, Take away the filthy garments from him. And unto him he said, Behold, I have caused thine iniquity to pass from thee, and I will clothe thee with change of raiment.

Look In the Mirror

I was challenged recently as I read through 1 Peter 3.  This passage speaks to wives and their relationship with their husbands.  It tells us that the unsaved husband may be won without his wife saying a word, as he observes her behavior.  Then Peter addresses the way we should adorn ourselves as women.

1 Peter 3:3-4  Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel;  4 But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.

My journal reads,

Too often I worry about my outside appearance because that is what people will see, but I do not take time to care for my inner man.  Though the outside may give testimony to the inner man, the latter is far more important and should be addressed first.

How much time do we spend in front of the mirror?  Smoothing wrinkles.  Covering blemishes.  Brushing hair.  We want to look good when we go out and are around other people.  Should we not show the same care for our inner man?  We need to take time to look into the mirror of God’s Word and allow Him to smooth the wrinkles and wash away the blemishes of sin.  We need Him to set our lives in order so that when we minister to other people, they see Him reflecting from our inner mirror. 

My desire is to care for my spiritual life just as much, if not more, than I care for my physical appearance each day.  This takes intentional decisions.  It won’t just happen on its own or “fall into place.”  I must purpose to take time to look into the mirror each morning.

A Godly Father

Though we are a few days past Father’s Day, I wanted to share a few thoughts that have been running through my mind.  Each Sunday our Pastor reads a passage of Scripture during the beginning of the service, before he gets to the message.  On Sunday, he read from Colossians 3.  Though it wasn’t the text of his sermon, the verses were applicable to fathers. 

Colossians 3:12-24  Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering;  13 Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye.  14 And above all these things put on charity, which is the bond of perfectness.  15 And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to the which also ye are called in one body; and be ye thankful.  16 Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom; teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord.  17 And whatsoever ye do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God and the Father by him.  19 Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.  21 Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.  23 And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men;  24 Knowing that of the Lord ye shall receive the reward of the inheritance: for ye serve the Lord Christ.

As I have watched my husband interacting with our four children recently, I have felt overwhelmingly blessed that he is striving to be a Biblical father and husband.

A Biblical Father:

• Seeks the things that are above – (verse 1-3).  Realizing that he is seated with Christ, he lives and enjoys all of the benefits of the Christ life while walking here on earth.
• Lives the attributes of Christ in his daily life – holiness, mercy, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering.  My husband is far more patient with our children than I am, showing them mercy while being consistent in discipline.
• Lets peace rule his heart – not at strife or quarrel with others; at peace knowing that whatever God has allowed is God’s will for his life right now.  Sometimes I feel so overwhelmed and I say “I can’t handle this.”  Ben always responds by reminding me that I can handle it because God has allowed it.  “In acceptance lieth peace”, and when we accept this as God’s will for us for now, His peace rules in the heart.
• Dwells in the Word of God – makes that quiet time a priority.  With four little children in the house, its hard to find a consistent time of peace and quiet.  But the Biblical father will always find it, knowing that if he is to lead his family in spiritual things, he must walk in God’s Word.
• Takes care of his wife – sometimes the best thing my husband can do for our children to take care of me.  Many times when I am overwhelmed, stressed, sick, or just tired and have had a rough day, he sends me out of the house for a while to have some quiet time just to myself.  He takes care of things at home so I can come back re-charged to fulfill my duties in the home.  Though I know he loves me all the time, at these times when he shows extra care for me, I feel especially loved.
• Lovingly disciplines, without provoking to anger – with consistency and in the Biblical manner, the Godly father will discipline his children as he molds their character according to God’s Word.  Our children are learning from their Daddy to be polite, use manners, exhibit kindness and sharing, and obey.  Sometimes its hard to discipline them over and over again for the same thing, but the Biblical Father does it because he takes his responsibility seriously.  He also recognizes that it will serve them well in the future.
• Leads the home in spiritual things – it’s exciting to me to see my husband teach our children about the things of God.  Elaine was wearing a shirt that said “Praise the Lord.”  Daddy took the opportunity to teach her what praise means, and then he reinforced it several times throughout the day.  Both of my older children are starting to pray on their own, without promptings, and to understand some things in family devotions. 
  
  Ben also tries to make sure I get some moments for quiet time with the Lord even when things seem to be spinning out of control at home.  And many times I get a call or a text at random points through the day to tell me he is praying for me…especially when my day is difficult.  He may not be here to assist me with an extra set of hands as I care for the kiddos, but he has done something far more helpful in bringing me before the Heavenly Father in prayer.

I’m thankful for the husband God gave me, and the father that he is to our children.  They have a special Daddy, for sure, and one day they will realize just how blessed they are!

Don’t Be Content

A recent post on another “Christian” blog has had me thinking for a few days.  The author was making the point that Jesus found her where she was – a single mom, trying to finish college, hoping her skinny jeans would still fit, and trying not to have hurt feelings when all of her friends are dating and she isn’t.

I don’t want to disagree with the fact that Jesus came to her where she was.  That’s what He does – He meets us where we are, in all of our sin and rags, and He offers us an exchange.  His riches and life for our sin and shame.  The beauty of the Gospel is that the ground is level at the foot of the cross.  It doesn’t matter if you’re 5 or 60.  It doesn’t matter if you’ve been raised in a Christian home, or if you’ve been an alcoholic.  It doesn’t matter if you’ve lived a clean life, or messed up over and over again – Jesus offers the same free gift of salvation by grace through faith to each one of us.

However, we must not be content to stay in that spot where Jesus found us.  He never intended to leave us there.  He saved us to give us something better.  To move us on.  To make us like Him.

Psalm 40:2  He brought me up also out of an horrible pit, out of the miry clay, and set my feet upon a rock, and established my goings.

He comes to us in our pit of sin & despair, our lack of faith, and stubborn rebellion. But He moves us out of the dirt and puts our feet on the solid Rock.

Ephesians 2:1-5  And you hath he quickened, who were dead in trespasses and sins;  2 Wherein in time past ye walked according to the course of this world, according to the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that now worketh in the children of disobedience:  3 Among whom also we all had our conversation in times past in the lusts of our flesh, fulfilling the desires of the flesh and of the mind; and were by nature the children of wrath, even as others. {desires: Gr. wills}  4 But God, who is rich in mercy, for his great love wherewith he loved us,  5 Even when we were dead in sins, hath quickened us together with Christ, (by grace ye are saved;)

Jesus finds us in our trespasses and sins, but by His love He offers us mercy and grace.  He makes us alive and saves us, so that He can complete His work in our life (vs.10).

I don’t want to be content with the level of spirituality I have now.  I don’t want to just be happy that Jesus came and met me where I am.  I don’t want to “waste” His grace by not allowing it to complete the work of transforming into the likeness of Christ.  I want to keep on the ascending plane. 

Jesus doesn’t want to leave me or you in the same wrong choices and pathway that may have led to a life of single parenting in the first place.  Jesus doesn’t want us to stay in our skinny jeans. He wants to make us into modest ladies who are adorned by their inner spirit and not the clothes that they choose. He doesn’t want me to long for something that He has chosen to give to someone else.  He wants me to find His will for my life and “press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus” (Phil. 3:14).

This is the Day

Read the full article here…

Thoughts for the New Year

It must be midnight because the fireworks are exploding outside my window.  Our church had a half night of prayer and fasting to bring in the New Year.  I don’t usually get to attend these prayer meetings because of the kids.  Ben usually goes for all or most of the time.  Tonight I enjoyed sitting in my clean living room with a cup of tea, my Bible, my Kindle, my planner, and a new book.  I made a few goals – not for the whole year, but for the next few months until our twins arrive.  I thought back on 2012.  I read.  I prayed.

I have so much to be thankful for.  Here are a few things that came across my mind as I thanked God for 2012:

• Ben is employed
• We have a new apartment, on the first floor
• Our church is rebuilding after Hurricane Sandy, and God has greatly provided.
• A friend, displaced by the hurricane, moved into a new apartment today.
• A friend is now expecting
• The story of a little baby who was not expected to live has encouraged me many days and reminded me how often I take the health of my family for granted
• Twins expected to make their appearance in about 4 months.  They are healthy and I have had an easy pregnancy, all things considered.
• My parents, who faithfully drove many miles to take us to church and youth group.  I’m sure I often took it for granted, but now that I am a parent I am realizing how much effort goes into training a child in the things of the Lord.
• My grandparents, from whom I count my godly heritage.  They are aging and struggling with different issues, but all three of them continue to have a testimony for the Lord.
• God’s Word {and many Christian blogs which have pointed me to God’s Word} which has encouraged me.
• Two godly “older” ladies who pray for me specifically and often ask how things are going.  Their testimony and advice has been priceless.

As I look forward to 2013, I know that many changes are in store.  We are adding two little people to our family…at one time.  I cannot imagine what life will be like in the next year.  Exhausting mostly.  Lots of joys, too.  Ben may be seeking an employment change so he can further his ministry training.  This will be a big transition.  We are praying about a ministry location and God’s timing for deputation.  There are lots of decisions that go along with that.

There are areas in which I failed during 2012, and I want to start fresh in 2013.  I want to be more faithful in my daily reading of God’s Word.  I often feel like a new mom, struggling to find my routine and “fit in” my devotions when the kids are always wanting my attention.  I was on a good track for a while, until I became pregnant and struggled again to get up early in the mornings.

My mom gave me a book for Christmas called At the Feet of Jesus.  It is collection of excerpts from the books of Joanna Weaver arranged into daily devotional readings.  I have already been blessed and challenged by it.  They are short, and easy to incorporate into a daily devotion time.  At the end of the book, Joanna has a unique Bible reading schedule.  I really like the layout and I am planning to use this for my daily reading in 2013. 

One of the best features that I see are the frequent “catch-up” days – scattered throughout the month and on several days at the end of each month.  I’m sure this will be life-saving to me as a mommy of little kids and uncertain daily events.  I also like that she alternates between the Old Testament and the New Testament, and separates like books such as the Gospels and the epistles.  This provides variety and allows for a fresh view when you return to that “genre” of the Bible.

You can customize, download, and print this schedule from Joanna’s website at www.becominghis.com.  This is a great resource for the new year, especially if you are wanting to improve in your Bible reading.

I am also incorporating an ebook entitled Plenty into my daily devotions.  It is encouraging, especially to moms, who always have plenty to do, but need to be reminded that there is plenty of grace to go along with mothering.  Kari Patterson also has a blog called Sacred Mundane which has encouraged me in the past {though I cannot endorse all of her content}.

Much More

I recently designed and printed this picture to add to my bathroom décor.  I love daisies, and this verse was on my mind a lot when I wanted a new picture.

I’m so glad that I serve a God who has “much more” planned for me than I could imagine.  Who answers my prayers with “much more” than I asked for.  Who amazingly cares for His beautiful creation, and has promised to care for me “much more.”

We are embarking on a great step of faith.  We have really been living on faith since we arrived in New York City almost two and a half years ago.  Ben’s job has never paid enough or had good benefits.  But whenever there was a need, God has always provided.  I have kept a list, and it is over 3 pages long – of specifics needs God has met since we moved here.  I’m sure I have missed some along the way.

But now we take another step of faith – in excitement to see how God will provide, but admittedly in a little bit of nervousness at not knowing all of the “how’s” and “why’s”.  Our rent and utilities are increasing.  We are adding two more babies in a few months.  We need a bigger car. 

Sometimes I get overwhelmed when I think of all the purchases we need to make in a short time.  I worry because I know there isn’t enough money for all of it.  But then I remember that I sere the God of the “much more.” 

He has made the daisies so beautiful, so elegant, and yet so simple.  They are fleeting – here for a short time and then gone.  But he has promised to much more care for me – for food, drink, and raiment.  He has proven Himself trustworthy in the past.  I know He will take care of the future.

Be Ye Holy

So I was just talking with my mom about how we are to live differently from the world.  Several things along these lines have provoked my thinking recently, and I wanted to put them “on paper” here.

I live in Brooklyn, NY.  We have a large population of Orthodox Jewish people.  And no matter where I go in the City, I can tell when a person is Jewish.  It’s evident.  You can tell by their attire.  The men wear black suits with white shirts, and nice hats. I like their hats.  The ladies wear long skirts, stockings, and long sleeves.  Usually it’s just black and white, but sometimes they have a stripe or color in their blouse.  Many people would look and them and say “weird.”  Or “out of style.”  But they identify with their people, unashamed, and they leave no question about who they are.

How about Christians.  Can you spot them a mile away?  Can you instinctively tell when you are talking to another believer?  Sometimes.  But often I am blown away in surprise when someone tells me they are a Christian {or at least they claim to be a Christian}.

The problem is this.  They wear the same fashion as the world.  And I cannot help but blush in shame at the tight pants, immodest necklines, or short skirts that many professing Christian girls wear in public.  They listen to the same music as the world.  Their Facebook page boasts pictures from last night’s concert or talks about the latest movie they went to see.  They are pumping their minds with the same filth as the world, and any resemblance to the Christ they claim as their own is flooded out.  Overpowered.  Undistinguishable.

Gandhi said this: “I like your Christ.  I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ.”  So sad…but too often so true.

Then today I read Joanna Weaver’s blog post about holiness, and it summed up everything I have been thinking and wanting to say.  {You should read the entire article} She writes:

Holiness. Not a terribly popular word in Christian circles these days.

We’d rather talk about mercy and grace; the forgiveness and tenacious patience of our Father who is “not willing that any should perish.” All wonderful topics and the bedrock of our Christian faith. And yet, if we insist on seeing only a loving God we run the risk of never experiencing the power of a life-changing God.

But to stop at the cross and never enter into His resurrection and a new way of life would be a tragedy. For the same grace that saves us is also the grace that changes us. Sanctifies and purifies us. Sets us apart and makes us holy. Makes us more like Jesus and less like us.

But we have to cooperate with that grace. And therein lies the rub.

To choose holiness means we have to be willing to embrace certain limitations on our freedom. To allow certain restrictions be placed on our lives by the Holy Spirit, though we’re surrounded by others who seem to have no restrictions at all. Bottom line, if we want to be holy, we are going to have to call sin what God calls it. Missing the mark. Disobedience which not only separates us from His heart, but discredits our claims of love.

To be honest, even as I write, I’m convicted of black-and-white areas in my life which have grown gray over the years. Scruples that I used to live by which have slowly become muddied. Certain behaviors and past times I partake of that I had a strong sense of conviction against – a conviction brought by the Holy Spirit not a set of rules and bylaws. Covenantal guidelines that determined what I would watch. What I would read. Activities I would forego simply because I knew they grieved His heart and quenched His Spirit’s work in my life. Forgive me, Lord.

I don’t want to “tolerate through sympathy” with myself “any practice that is not in keeping with a holy God.” A call to holiness may not be popular right now but that doesn’t mean it is no longer valid. Though we may have changed our mind about how we should live, God hasn’t.

In my devotions I am working through a book on the Incarnation of Christ.  He was not just a likeness of God in human flesh – He was God.  Claudia Barba says “Jesus Christ, however, is much more than an approximate facsimile of God.  He is the precise, perfect likeness of His Father, reflecting and revealing Him in every way.” 

That’s what I want to be.  Not a Christian in name only, and not just similar to the One I claim as Lord of my life.  I want to live holy, so that it is stands out in crystal clarity to a dark world around me.  I want to be as close to the precise likeness of Christ that I can attain here on earth, reflecting and revealing Him in every way.

Scrub the Grout

Last week I finally took the time to scrub the grout and tiles in my bathtub/shower area.  It’s a job I should do more often, but I dislike it so I usually put it off.  I should tell you that we live in a house built in 1905.  We have a dumbwaiter in our bathtub.  Thing are not very modern or up-to-date, including the tiling and bathtub.  There are stains and molds that I just can’t scrub away, no matter how long or hard I try, or what type of cleanser I use.  And so, even when it is really clean it still looks dirty.  For this reason, I often don’t bother to scrub it very well at all.  But I knew it had a been a while, and so I decided to tackle the job – one of the most unpleasant parts about homemaking, right up there with changing a crib sheet.

As I was scrubbing I thought about how the tiles and grout are much like my own life.  Sometimes I get so tired of falling, of getting tripped up by the same sin or temptation, that I just decide to not try anymore.  Or I relax my standards too many times thinking “it’s just this once” and then I find myself in a habit of sin.

My mornings and quiet times with God have been like this summer.  I don’t like to admit it, but I have been…not diligent.  I stayed up too late.  I slept in.  I had an appointment.  I wanted to get to the park before it was too hot.  So I skipped my quiet time.  Or I put it off.  I didn’t make it a priority.  And before I knew it, the grout of my day – that which is holding all of the tiles in place – was dirty and disgusting.  I had a bad habit.  Now I have to try to break it.

I noticed little bits of dirt and “soap scum” creeping into others areas too.  I didn’t scrub them away fast enough, and before I knew it they had built up.  Now they will be harder to scrub off.  Things like watching movies at night.  We don’t watch anything even close to “bad.”  Try black and white reruns of McHales Navy or the Andy Griffith Show.  But they leave my head spinning when it’s time for bed, and then I don’t rest well.  I fare much better when I read part of a book before bed.  Something to encourage me, challenge me, help me to understand more about Christlikeness or how to parent my children in a godly fashion.

Song of Solomon 2:15 says it’s the little foxes that spoil the vine.  Those small things that we let slide, thinking they are no big deal.  But then they turn into really big deals.  So quickly and easily.

I don’t have kids in school, but I grateful for summer and all of its activities coming to a close so that I have no excuse but to get back on track.  To reform my morning habits and refocus my quiet times.  To evaluate my habits and my leisure times and make sure they are glorifying God.

How about you?  Do you need to scrub any grout in your life?