Abandoning all to Him. Surrender. Living with open hands. Open to whatever God chooses to place into them or take out of them. It can be a very fearful thing. Never knowing what God has planned. And while I made that one “big yes” to God (Romans 12:1) as a teenager, I often struggle to say “yes” moment by moment, day by day.
It’s not the big plans of my life that I have trouble relinquishing. It’s not who I will marry or where I will live, or what is my career. Many of those questions have been answered already (at least for now). It’s the little plans. Letting Him control the path of my day when I had so many things that I wanted to accomplish.
It’s the “I wanted to do __________ during naptime but the baby won’t sleep.”
It’s the “I never get time for myself.”
It’s the “Why are all of my kids sick, again?”
It’s the “I’m so tired of changing diapers and washing dishes and wiping up spills.”
In those mundane, everyday tasks and plans which are so necessary to daily life. That is where I resist. That is where I hold back. That is where I try to force my plans instead of opening my hand to God’s agenda for my day.
That is where I must surrender.
“Then said Jesus unto his disciples, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me.”